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“…nobody would fall because everyone would be each others’ crutches.” –Jay Z, “Feelin’ It”
Hi.
Let me start by saying this…I’m not going to promise to post more often. I’m not going to say that I’ll do this and this or that and that. I’m not going to offer excuses or explanations. I’ve been living. When I feel inspired and life slows down enough for me to write, I’ll write. If it doesn’t, I won’t. I’m going to stop making that promise.
Now, on with the show.
I’m happy.
I could end there, but that wouldn’t be much of a post would it. Let me start again, 30 owes me nothing. If everyday from here on out until 31 was filled with bologna sandwiches and Scandal-less tv, I wouldn’t complain (well…hopefully. I shouldn’t complain. That would be more honest). I’ve had some wonderful things happening in my career (which I’m not at liberty to share), I’m honestly happy with myself as a person, and I’m in a relationship that feels nothing like I’ve ever felt, and I feel blessed by it all. God has kept his eye on me, and I am forever thankful.
But this isn’t what is making me ultimately happy.
I mean sure…it’s 90%. But what is making me happy is that my friends are finding their happy too. We have seen each other at some interesting lows, and seen glimpses of what highs look like. It’s awesome that I have a friend making waves in her dream, another who is a semester away from hers, another who can probably kick through a door legitimately if need-be, several bosses in their careers, and more awesome mommies and talented chicks than I can count. I’m happiest that the people I’ve chosen to be my family – my friends – are coming up too. Even if some are still climbing their mountain, they should know someone else has got lemonade on chill for them, right?
Even though I won’t tie this to a specific episode of Sex and the City, this is ultimately what the entire show is about: being there for your friends through it all. Happy in their happies, and wiping tears in their sads. Seeing in them what life has blinded them to in themselves, and throwing the confetti when that picture comes in HD. So I could talk about love and have a laundry list of things I’ve learned about myself and why he’s the best ever, but this moment is not the time for that particular revelation. I’m happy. I’m happy for me. I’m happy for them. I’m happy for us. And this “us” is my friends.
Love you ladies.
–V
Today I was at work – minding my own business because I finished putting up my classroom decorations and completing my lesson plans – when I realized that my phone battery was getting low and decided to put it on the charger while I went to a round of afternoon meetings. I come back about an hour or so later to several notifications on my phone. I look at the various social media sites and see that I have a message from Patricia, the owner of GlobalCouture, a wonderful website that is about loving your own hair (She’d interviewed me earlier this summer). Her message said, “I have a surprise for you!!! You are featured on Curlynikki.com today!!!”
Shut. The. Front. Door.
I started pulling up everything I could. I was ecstatic. I’ve talked about my hair and the natural hair community here before, but I’ve never focused on this as a natural hair blog. This is just my way of combining my nerdy-fandom, love of writing, weirdly great memory, and favorite show in a therapeutic way. When I saw my feature, I can 
imagine how Carrie might’ve felt when she met her two fans in Paris (Season Season, Part 2, “An American Girl in Paris – part deux”). She was in a foreign land, wanting a bit of normal, and unknowingly walked into something that made her really happy.
When I saw my feature, I was so happy I yelled in my classroom, ran into the hallway to tell someone, but no one would know what I was talking about (Which is what I actually screamed, lol). That’s when I realized that most of my close friends either live away, moved away, or aren’t as easily accessible due to life changes. None of this is a bad thing, it’s just different. Similar to Carrie, she was excited to see her book in a window with no one with whom to share her glee. She had Petrovsky, but he didn’t understand the same way that her friends would.
I’m happy to have several differences from Carrie. My man is no Petrovsky, that’s for sure. He understood and was happy for me. And, my friends are a phone call away and I don’t even need a calling card. 😉 All in all…that’s a blessing. And I’m pretty sure it’s high on the non-romantic-interest best days ever of 2013.
Have you had a day that you would consider epic? What happened?
Love,
-V
I had something all witty to write about that I had been planning out all day in my head. I log into WordPress and see “99 Posts”. Dang. So the next one will be 100? 100 should be celebrated. My wonderful Sorority turned 100 this year and shut. DC. Down. If someone lives to be 100…it seems like the whole country should sign a card or something. I’m always happy when I have 100 cents. I can get something from the vending machine (or at least I used to be able to…I mean what the heck is up with stuff costing $1.25?? Once I put a paper bill in, that should be the end of my transaction for something from the vending machine…seriously. But, I digress…). So it seems right that I should pause to celebrate my 100th post in all it’s 100ness by keeping it 100.
I’m happy.
Exceptionally happy. Beyonce singing Love on Top at the MTV Awards happy…minus the gut full of person part.
Just writing those words made me smile.
It had been a rough first quarter to the year. I am normally a very bubbly person. I talk a lot, even though I don’t like strangers. At the first of the year, I avoided conversation. I didn’t let a lot of people in. I felt like I was a broken record, even to my very close friends. And in my head, I know God is in control. I’ve read the Bible. Things work out in the most unexpected ways to the people there, and I have the benefit of knowing the end of their stories, so there was no way I was going to question the God I serve when I know He’d work it out. I couldn’t, however, control my emotions. Friends would ask what was wrong, and I’d offer a tearful vague reply. All that to say…rough first quarter.
Most of my close friends have moved either out of state or too far to claim they live in Atlanta. My family, while good, has their share of health issues that I constantly lift up in prayer, and my job is stressful.
But I’m happy. God has blessed me with my own little piece of happy. It’s like the best of every friend I’ve ever had, and all of what I’ve ever liked in any relationship…plus some.
I still get in my head about some things, and I still worry about the future in some ways, but I’m present in the moment and am sincerely enjoying being happy. It’s sometimes still foreign. I’d never felt it before. I’m used to it now. I hope to stay used to it.
So there’s some raw truth about me. Anything you want to share?
Love,
-V
Happy Holidays!
(I decided to go with Happy Holidays because I missed Thanksgiving but it’s not Christmas. Happy Holidays is a happy medium 🙂 )
So today, I have been thinking all day about putting up my Christmas tree, but it made me a little sad to think about putting it up alone. Let me give you a little background. Christmas is my favorite holiday. Besides the fact that it acknowledges the birth of my Lord and Saviour, the general time around Christmas makes me happy. There is a built-in “make me smile” factor that surrounds the Christmas season…twinkling lights, cinnamon-y smells, hot chocolate, beautiful decorations. I have happy memories related to Christmas though. Besides the fact that it was a time that I got to see most of my extended family (until we were all too old to stay in one house, so everyone would have to get hotels, lol), I remember a memory that always makes me happy.
My friend loved Christmas. I always liked the lights, but my mom was the kind of procrastinator that we’d be lucky if the tree was up by the 23rd. And since we normally went to another part of Louisiana for Christmas, so at best, we put cards up around the house and got a poinsettia. I didn’t have decorating memories. So during my sophomore year of college, he started sharing with me around Thanksgiving how excited he was about being able to decorate his (then, brand new) home for Christmas. He asked me to come with him to buy a tree and ornaments. I went, and he was like a big kid. He asked my opinion on which ornaments were nice, but not girly; If the tree was large enough (considering he was 6’4″…he didn’t want to be taller than the tree); if he needed two or three boxes of lights. He told me to go get cocoa while he grabbed Christmas mugs. We went back to his home and he found the 6 Christmas songs on his computer and put them on repeat. I remember that I sat on the couch to watch him “do his thing”. He said, “What are you doing??” I said, “Um…nothing.” He said, “Nooooo, you have to help. I’ll do the lights, and you decide which pretty ornaments go where, and then I’ll do all the fill-in ornaments.” He wanted me involved. And after it was done, he baked cookies (let me choose which ones I wanted first before he got his), made us hot chocolate in the new Christmas mugs, and then turned out the lights so he could light up the tree. He was so happy, lol. It was a good, dorky kind of happy that was infectious. He then thanked me for obliging him and sharing in his first home tree-trimming. And, I loved it just as much as he did. The event itself was nice, but I liked that he wanted me involved. And I ended up making him a cd with more than 6 songs, lol.
That next year, after doing the same thing, we went to the downtown display of Christmas lights. The streets were roped off, and you could walk block after block, stop at little shops, buy apple cider, etc… He wanted to do a little of everything. He was sad because he had just had shoulder surgery (he was a pitcher for my university’s baseball team) so he could only operate one arm, but he still enjoyed himself. He bought cider for us, and we walked all night until it closed, laughing at things (and people), and again, he thanked me for sharing the memories with him. It was that Christmas that we exchanged gifts. He got me a stuffed cocker spaniel puppy (I still love that thing, lol) and I got him a print of Muhammad Ali knocking out Frazier (which he loved).
Things between us changed after that, but we were always friends. I had relationships after that, and with each one I always wanted to cultivate something special. Something distinctly ours. Except…they were never interested. My five-year-relationship guy always seemed mildly annoyed when I wanted him to help me put up my tree, so I tried other things. None of them worked, and he never offered any suggestions. The only thing we did on a regular was visit his mom on Sundays, but nothing explicitly ours. He would say things like, “I thought about taking you to the jazz club.” “I thought about us driving to little cities around here to try whatever they were known for.” I literally begged for almost two years to go to Stone Mountain to see the laser show. I was so excited when I finally went, but he still had a mild indifference. I wanted to hold hands and share a blanket, but he brought a (single) folding chair, saying he thought the ground would be too hard (He said, “I know you have one…I thought you would’ve brought yours too. My bad”). I’m pretty sure that this constant (what I saw as) rejection created a layer that I started to stop asking or expecting moments that were “special”.
So when I say Un-tradition-al…I mean that the most meaningful experiences that set standards for things I’ve wanted were/are with people whom I could only call friends. It is with these people that I have the happiest memories. But the relationships I’ve had, they were all missing that something special. Even now, …well…nevermind. Just know that I have had more special moments recently that I have had in a long time … and it’s a friend. So I can imagine Charlotte’s dismay with Harry when he wanted to watch the baseball game after she had converted to Judaism and cooked a Shabbat meal. To him, he appreciated what she did, but it was another dinner during a game. To her, she was starting to create traditions with someone she cared about. Now, I can’t condone the statements she made to him afterwards, but I can understand (Season 6, “Pick a Little, Talk a Little”).
So, whether it was figuring out how to staple Christmas lights around your window without electrocuting anyone, or inadvertently creating a special language that only two people understand, traditions are nice. I hope that one day, I’ll have them with someone who’ll actually be with me.
Do you have any traditions you’d like to share? It’s the holidays, after all 😉
Love,
–V
P.S. No, my Christmas tree isn’t up. Not yet.
“Today, I had a thought: what if I had never met you?” –Carrie Bradshaw
I have always loved the “American Girl in Paris, Part Une” episode. Not just because of her big, “Big-you-can-suck-it” speech (which is awesome by the way…although I didn’t think she should’ve started running around the corner. Keeping the same pace would have had a better effect, but that could be just me), but because of the simple and real emotion that came from the “Last Supper” with her friends. All of them were visibly connected, and you could almost see them working out their emotions from having to adjust to not having a close friend physically near them.
Carrie asked the question quoted above, and that was all that was said. All of the women went on their own personal walk down memory lane, with no words. The eye contact between Carrie and each of her friends told the story. I can honestly say that I understand that now.
My friend is moving away. Do you know how long it takes to make a friend who you are finally comfortable enough to call and just say, “What ‘chu doing? Let’s watch tv.”? 2 years. Exactly two years. I met her last June during an educator’s conference that my church was holding, and saw her later at church with a Delta T-Shirt on. We began talking, more comfortable as Sorors, but then bonded as a part of a small knit group of friends. We ultimately became very close. One of my favorite pictures is of us parasailing (in the shades she stole from me…but that’s another issue, lol), and she is always the person ready to stop someone from doing something in anger that will have us on “The CNN”. She was one of the people ready to fight when I was hurt and hug when I was sad. I have two other single, close friends in Atlanta, and we are all equally as sad.
At the end of June, she got a job that will move her to Florida, and yesterday we held a going away party. My goal has been not to cry…especially not in public. I cried in public last month; this means that it cannot happen again until at least the end the September (I’m a G like that, lol). It was a great party, and I asked people to bring things that will remind her of them, or that remind them of her. My friends and I had to run from each other every time the emotions started to run high, because I refused to cry. Near the end of the night, while everyone was dispersing, either going home or playing games at D&B’s, one of the four said, “Let’s go to Pinkberry.” We said our goodbyes, and relocated.
As we sat down, I said, “This seems like Carrie’s last night, before she went to Paris.” Everyone agreed, and we locked eyes, and one person’s bottom lip started quivering. I said, “HEY! I’m not looking at you…but you better pull it together!” We kind of started laughing, with everyone looking away and trying to quell tears.Then the night just went on as normal, with us laughing and talking.
I will say this. I have never been so sad and happy…well, sort of. I’m not going to lie, more sad than happy. She is one of the first friends I made all on my own after all of my friends were based on my ex-boyfriend’s friends. Looking at Pinterest last night though, I found this:
I love my friends…no matter where they are. 🙂
Love,
–V
Happy New Year (24 days in)!
I sincerely hope that your 2011 was made of awesome, chocolate chips, and blessings. 🙂
It’s taken me awhile to write because I was so focused on what I wouldn’t write about. Life has been a bit rough, and I am uncomfortable with writing about it in it’s rawness. I know it will make an awesome testimony at some point in some way, but right now……. 
However, I decided that I would write about what I will write about. All of my favorite moments in Sex and the City have to do with the girls being there for each other in rough times…Miranda forcing everyone to talk about Samantha’s cancer during her wedding reception; Carrie stepping in with Miranda in her mother’s funeral possession; Charlotte’s sitting with Carrie when she read Big’s marriage announcement; Samantha forcing Carrie to eat in Mexico; I could continue.
My 2011 ended in a not so great way. While I won’t get into that, I will discuss my friends. When I tell you that there is no better thing in the world (or as a fashion accessory…yes I’m talking to you, lady who insists on wearing leggings as pants) than friends who are not too afraid to be real, not too hard to be compassionate, not t0o cynical to be optimistic, and not too realistic to be faith full. In all of the aforementioned Sex and the City moments, one that stands out to me most is this one:
Only a friend leaves the house dressed this way.
<– You see that? That’s real.
Carrie was going through her own stuff. She’d been unceremoniously jilted. She was embarrassed, sad, and still dealing. But, her friend needed her. Her friend didn’t even state that she needed her…she just knew. And she was ready to throw on a coat, sparkly hat, and boots to brave Manhattan’s winter and subway system to be there for her friend (Sex and the City Movie).
According to Wikipedia, Auld Lang Syne “may be translated into English literally as “old long since”, or more idiomatically, “long long ago”,[4] “days gone by” or “old times”. Consequently “For auld lang syne”, as it appears in the first line of the chorus, is loosely translated as “for (the sake of) old times”. While I can’t control old times, I can celebrate the positives that has come from it.
I have to thank God for the friends He’s given me at the time He’s given them. Only they can affirm you when you feel like breaking down. Only they are willing to stand with you when the rest of the world thinks you’re crazy…even when they think you’re crazy. They’re ready to be on the CNN because someone has harmed you in any way. They’re ready to give snot-nosed (yet cute-faced) prayers to God on your behalf.
Although I don’t believe in stories like “The Notebook”…I do believe in friendships like the girls on Sex and the City. Not necessarily the value systems that they hold, but for the value they see in each other. And no matter what, that crosses all lines. So whether it’s a Louisiana-bred, Kentucky raised chicken judger, a fairly new face who happens to be a jet-setter, a “different than day and night” pair from the heart of the D, someone whose friendship has lasted over a decade, a co-worker who has moved out of that box into other boxes, or the friend you never thought you’d make but has provided consistent God-filled spiritual advice…and she likes shoes like you do…they are important.
Trust me…I’d put on pearls with my pajamas, a sparkly hat, and boots for any of you……..but I ain’t taking MARTA…me and the Camry will ride out though 🙂
I want those friendships for everyone. In 2012, I hope you get it. 🙂
Love,
–V
FYI (since I talked about it last week)…today would’ve been my six year anniversary. Um…in the words of Jay-Z, that “only gets half a bar…” (I only really remember this because I have a great memory. I found a girl I went to elementary school with in the checkout line at Kroger the other day. I literally have not seen her, or a picture of her since 1993.)
Anyway, this past weekend I took a mini-vacation with my friends. We went to Panama City Beach and truly had a wonderful time. The lack of posting was due to all the schoolwork I needed to do during the week to be able to take off the weekend. It was wonderful. We jet-skiied. We parasailed (which was made of awesome). We went to the beach at the crack of dawn (yeah, I wasn’t happy about that one), played The Michael Jackson Experience on Wii, and came back playing Phase 10.
Sunset after Parasailing...God is the best artist.
Anyway, we do what we do best: talk. We have conversation after conversation. Some of it is silly yet profound, like using Finding Nemo as the basis to why women aren’t submissive, and why some parents seem to baby or attempt to enable their kids instead of preparing them for the future (Yeah, this conversation really happened). Sometimes it’s Pinky and the Brain – our attempt to take over the world (for the better…improve it and whatnot). Often it’s about our faith, but a lot of the time it is about relationships.
We had this conversation about attitudes and relationships. One of my friends is of the opinion that women, people in general but mostly women, only have their hard-edged attitudes because they are not with their 11. I, at least currently, think that my mindset shapes my attitude or lack thereof. Do all of our theories on relationships only apply because we haven’t met a person to supersede our ideals, or would they be there regardless because of mentality? Is it the man, or the mirror? Hmm…
Remember this convo?
Carrie: Do you remember how Big used to keep me away from his mother, like I was som
e kind of leper?
Miranda: I remember.
Carrie: And how pissed it used to make me?
Miranda: I remember!
Carrie: Well now, Aidan’s offering up both his parents on a silver platter, and I’m not sure I want to meet them.
Carrie did this in her first go round with Aidan (Season 3, “Drama Queens). She was very weird with him for a time, and it’s mostly because the mentality created by Big and a bevy of other failed relationships conditioned her to be used to “the chase”. With him, at that time, it’s was nothing but calm seas and not a cloud in sight. He wanted her to meet his parents, and she thought that it was too much, too soon. Is this really her inner self telling her that he was not “The One”, or her conditioning that if she tries for this, she’ll only end up hurt like she was with Big (who was completely uncomfortable with the thought of her and his mother sharing the same air).
It’s a crapshoot for me, but I’m leaning towards mental conditioning rather than the man. What say you?
Love,
–V
A random conversation with a co-worker brought this on. I was discussing with her how I’d visited my ex’s mom because she has done my taxes for the past four years, and told me that she would continue to do so (yes!). This was generally a recount of my weekend, and she said “Wow…are you proud of yourself for getting through that situation? I mean, I am exceptionally proud of you. You have come so long…how long has it been?”
That question right there caused me to turn on the calculator in my head. And I realized…
Today…makes exactly one year since my breakup. Like…exactly. I only remember because we broke up one week shy of our 5 year anniversary, and the 28th is next Monday.
I shared this with her, how proud of myself I’d become. The things I’d done. The people I’ve met and relationships I’d built that never would’ve been. And I told her that besides God, my family and close friends…I can only thank one other entity…
Maybelline Colossal Mascara.
Now hear me out.
Yes, I’d done a lot of praying. I’d shopped. I’d spent time with my family who checked on me. My friends consistently kept me uplifting. Jazmine Sullivan was my homegirl. But none of those things affected my overall view of what I thought I’d lost than Maybelline Colossal Mascara.
See, the deal was that even though I’d make it through day by day (I remember reading Jozen Cummings reply to another reader on how to get over a breakup by saying “Wake up. Eat. Live. Go to sleep. Repeat. Other than that, You’ve got me.”), I was still sad. It was palpable. I know I got closer to God and to a few of my friends (Shouts out to Seattle!! 🙂 ), but when I was alone, it wasn’t enough to stop the emotional overload.
Until the day I couldn’t put on mascara.
I’ll never forget that morning.
I had dragged myself out of bed. I’d found an outfit. I didn’t have the energy to do much makeup, so I figured I’d do a little mascara, lipgloss and go so I wouldn’t look how I felt. Well, because of my crying, my eyelids were so swollen that my lashes literallly laid against them. When I realized this, and saw the mascara wand effectively coating my lashes and my eyelid simultaneously, I yelled…yes, yelled (and sorry, this is what I said)
“WHAT THE F*CK!!?!????!?? Oh………HELL naw!”
And that day forward, I decided I would not have another crying bout. Yes, I may get sad. I might even get lonely…but tears stop now. A few times I’d get watery-eyed, and remember my Martin Lawrence-esque eyelids (after that fight…remember that episode?), and suck it up. I would move forward because I was awesome…even if one person didn’t see it. But no one else would if my eyes were so big that my lashes stood upright.
When Carrie broke up with Big, at the start of Season 2, she would avoid anywhere she might run into him. With that being said…I refused to avoid mascara. AND…a few weeks before that, I had just bought and opened a Dior Iconic Mascara…that’s $28 I’d have been wasting! Not the kid.
So, thank you God, Mom, Daddy, brothers and sister, great friends, and Maybelline Colossal Mascara. I wouldn’t have made it without you. And honestly, if not for that question, I would have forgotten…which is a testimony in and of itself. 😉
I hope you all had wonderful days!
Love,
–V
In honor of Aphrodite’s son’s day of work, I decided to marry this holiday with some of my favorite dates from Sex and the City, so here we go. Here are some ways to spend this day of love with your beaux, your friends, or yourself!
With a Boo
1. Go to an arcade: (Hot Child in the City, Season 3) Carrie and her comic book store owning friend, Wade Adams, spent a hot New York summer evening at an arcade. They had fun, and even used his scooter. “Wooo…look at me! I’m scooting in heels!”
2. Evening of Jazz: (Defining Moments, Season 4) Carrie and Big often went to the Blue Note to just hang as friends. That doesn’t mean it can’t be a romantic encounter for two! And, if push comes to shove, shove comes to a fist fight, and fist fight turns into a bar brawl…just look for cute bass players. Carrie did 😉 Just don’t have a menage a taxi.
3. Home Culinary Skills: (Sex and the City: The Movie) Big often cooked for Carrie…which works. Anyone, or both, can don the apron for the night. Why not look up a recipe online, and make it together.
Out with Friends
1. Attend a major event: (Take Me Out to the Ballgame, Season 2; Sex and the City: The Movie) If you and your friends don’t like the winged-arrowed one, why not head out somewhere with a large crowd? A concert, movie, or play would be a good evening out with the girls. Hey, go to an auction even…find a ring to buy yourself that’s “a little too much” (personality, not price. We are not living outside our means in 2011!)
2. Game Night: (Games People Play, Season 2) Why not round up your girls, or guys, or both, for a night of Phase 10, Taboo, Wii, or whatever. Whether you’re of the spades or bid whist generation, it’ll be fun!
3. Spa Day: (Attack of the 5’10” Woman, Season 3; The Caste System, Season 2) Carrie and her girls spent a day at the spa just hanging out. My friend and I did this once, and had a blast (minus a few sketchy moments, lol). I’m sure you can look online and find spas where you can go and enjoy the saunas, steamrooms, and whirlpools for less money.
Um…shopping goes without saying, right? lol
Solo
1. Go to a book reading: (The Big Journey, Season 5) This could also be done with friends, but either way, enjoy it! Even if you hear about a book reading and don’t want to stay, grab the book and your favorite take out, and go home for a nice relaxing evening.
2. Do something you’ve feared: (The Catch, Season 6) Never in my life would I have tried to be a trapeze artist, but what time like the present when the rest of the world is celebrating love? Fall in love with your adrenaline. If it was me, I’d probably try zip-lining. It looks fun, but terrifying!
3. Take a class to learn a skill. (Was it good for you?, Season 2) Charlotte got her friends to attend a class about improving her, um, horizontal skills, after a guy goes to sleep on her. Yeah…I’m not saying do that, but there are plenty of places where you can go and paint pottery, decorate a space, or learn how to do any number of things. Sometimes, it’s better, because you don’t have to worry about having talkative friends who make you miss hearing the directions!
I hope you are enjoying this day, no matter what. If you don’t have a someone special, I’m sure you have a few…namely great family and friends. And even if you’ve moved by yourself, you have at least someone special with you: yourself. My favorite sex and the city quote has to be from Season 6 Part 2, the final episode.
“The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself…and if you can find someone to love the you you love, well…that’s just fabulous.” –Carrie Bradshaw
Do you have any interesting date ideas? I’d like to know. Have an awesome day, wherever you are 🙂
Love,
-V
*Shout out to my cousin whose name IS Mary!*
Now, today, several of my friends called me difficult for “refusing to acknowledge my feelings” (their words, not mine). It was after a close male friend told me he would start to prepare my wedding poem, to which I said some variation of “kick rocks” (with love though). One friend in particular said, “You’re only doing this because you want to be contrary, just like ***** (the name of
a friend who is apparently known for doing such)! You both will do the opposite of what people expect, just so you won’t be doing what people expect, even if it is the best thing for you!” This reminded me of Samantha and Smith Jerrod. When she hurt her ankle trying to dodge a dreaded hand-hold, people were trying to make her feel comfortable with something outside of her level of comfort (Season 6, “The Domino Effect”). Now, it’s obvious that holding someone’s hand is not that big of a decision, but it was Samantha’s decision to make. (Even though Smith insisted by telling her he had enough of that horse****, she did put parameters on the action, lol)
Boo on them.
First of all, this is not true for me in every area of my life. I am generally a rule-abider. Even at work when we had to take the true colors assessment, I was a green followed in one point by yellow. Ideally, I want things to go as they should go, whether it is with the crowd or against it. Going about things the right way is important to me.
Even in this area, people take the stance that this relationship is a good thing…which it very well may be. How-so-and-ever…it doesn’t make it right to do it by others time. It’s my own time and comfort that is important. And I figure, if he is patient and understanding of my reservations, then everyone else can wait too 😉 All I’m saying is that if you walk too fast, you might fall in a manhole, and not love like everyone else is thinking. There’s something to be said for caution…and it’s not just being contrary. The only person who knows what is comfortable for him or her is that person…herself.
Love,
-V
Sex and the City Psychology 