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Don’t judge me.

I hurt my neck this weekend.

I can’t prove it, but I’m pretty sure that I hurt it “Whippin’ my hair back and forth” with Willow Smith’s song. This was on Saturday evening; my upper back and neck just shut down on Sunday evening. I thought I had pinched a nerve or something! It wasn’t until a friend of mine said, “Hey, maybe it was from that whippin’ last night.” Eureka.

Throwback Carrie

Now, I’ve just turned 27, but I can clearly remember whole days of high school. It doesn’t seem like I should be heading for my ten year reunion (Reminder: pay for ten year class reunion). Even as I write this, my friend who I’m on the phone with said, “Ten years doesn’t seem like a long time. I would’ve thought in ten years I should’ve changed the world.” So, if my mind is still there…where the heck are my other muscles??

I had time to think while I was laying on my heating pad (again, don’t judge me), how many injuries have we endured getting older? Physical or otherwise? Yeah, I’m dealing with a neck injury, but my heart has gotten bashed in a time or two. If I can make it through the latter, the former should pass just as smoothly. Friends walked away in grade school, just like they walked away in college, and even once I moved to Georgia. It seems to be the cycle of life. I get nervous about things just like the first day of 9th grade and excited about things like Homecoming of my Senior Year.

My linesister Alisha even talked about how she used to be able to shut down the club with the best of them, but now anything longer than around 1am gets a “kill yo’self”. It doesn’t seem that long ago…but apparently our bones know differently.

Even Carrie had to inform Samantha in Season 5 that it was time for ladies her age to “cover it up” (Cover Girl). She also tried to refuse running around Times Square looking for a cute sailor to kiss, because “that ship has sailed…pun intended” (Anchors Away). So what things are age telling is no longer appropriate? Were they even appropriate then? I’m just saying, would I have been able to whip my hair all night long at 21, or is whipping just outta order because no good can come of it? (lol…that might’ve gotten too deep for what I’m trying to convey here.)

Summing it up, what are the injuries of getting older? Is it just the physical of bad knees from sports playing days, or is it more to it than that? I tell you what…no more Willow for me…that’s all I’m saying.

3 or 4 broken hearts, a failed marriage, pessimism, and cancer: Did they see it coming?

Love,

-V

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Man is not meant to live alone. It is also my opinion that man is not meant to be around the humans for 100% of his time either. I have been going at an accelerated pace for a few weeks now…rarely having time alone unless there was toilet paper present (Note: this can also mean shower…toilet paper is present in the same vicinity when you shower. Don’t just jump straight to the #2).

This past weekend, besides climbing a mountain ( 😦 ), I had a bunch of plans. It was my friend’s birthday (Shoutout Danielle! Woooo!), I had a soror in town, another friend’s birthday celebration, and was supposed to get together with a third friend later on. Well, to make a long story short, 3 out of the 4 events either did not happen, or did not happen as planned, which left me with a pretty free Saturday night.

My first thought was to attempt to fill it with something else, but nothing worked. So, I went home. And sat there. And read. And slept. And it was fan-frickin’-tastic.

We need that time alone. It’s that time that helps to replenish us. We get an opportunity to reflect or rest, pray or sing, or simply stare at our own cuticles for 30 minutes just because we feel like it.

In Season 4 (“Just Say Yes”), Aidan moved in with Carrie after her apartment went co-op. I’m willing to argue that she ultimately said yes because she had something to lose by saying no (her place to live). Ultimately, he wanted to marry her. Her initial response was ”I’m not ready to get engaged yet, but I love you and I wanna live with you.” Even once it happened, she still was not happy. She had an issue with his greeting technique. She had to ask for him not to talk to her when she walked through the door. She simply wanted to be alone.

I may be going through that phase right now. Since I have had an opportunity to slow up a bit, I am perfectly content in my alone-ness. I get to do the things that you can only do when you are home alone: the SSBs – Secret Single Behaviors (Carrie discussed this in the next episode, “The Good Fight”). When discussing her own, she said, “I like to make a stack of saltines. I put grape jelly on them. I eat them standing up in the kitchen reading fashion magazines” (which, admittedly, is weird). For me, I like to walk through my house, straightening up in my underclothes. I can watch hours of youtube videos on how to do random beauty tasks, like fingernail designs or threading eyebrows (WHICH I have gotten pretty good at by the way).

This alone time is necessary, but how long do you go with it before you offend those who want some of your time?  Because I’m pretty happy with me, myself, and I right now. Had Charlotte acknowledged her need to be alone, she wouldn’t have cracked over some icing on a vintage skirt. 🙂

What do you think? And, what is your SSB?

Love,

-V

 So, I’ve been thinking…how different are women and men? I mean sure, we know shoes versus football (and I happen to love both), but how much deeper does the rabbit hole go? I mean, too many men will not admit how much time they spend, if any at all, analyzing their own emotions. Women generally get boxed into the concerned-attentive-emotional box, while men get the guarded-aloof-apathetic position, and society, the general public, and Kanye West are fine with it.

But what happens when there is a behavior switch? A man finds himself concerned emotionally about where he stands with a female, and a woman is in the aloof and guarded stance…seems like it throws the cosmos off kilter.

In Season 3 (my best guess is episode 6, but I’m on a media fast right now, so I can’t watch it to see), Aidan wanted Carrie to meet his parents, but she was apprehensive. I remember that Carrie was concerned that something was wrong with Aidan because he seemed too perfect. Anyway, Carrie explained her conundrum to her friends, saying, “Aidan is acting exactly like I wished Big would’ve behaved, but now I’m behaving like Big.”

Currently, I’m dating someone. I’m pretty guarded and cautious, and my friends tell me I’m being a butthole. I guess, like Carrie, I am looking for hidden icebergs so they don’t blindside me when they were in clear view (like the last relationship). This person is great to me, we’ve had a few arguments already and no one has died, and generally makes me happy. So what’s up? Carrie thought it was the lack of a stomach flip. I have absolutely no idea. I don’t see the harm in being cautious and careful. My friend said, however, “You just might cautious and careful yourself out of a man.” Thank you friend. Of course, I needed to be thinking about that. #sarcasm

Give me your take on it. What do you think? Is caution a male trait? Women are just supposed to go hopping, skipping, jumping, diving, and falling in love (Hopefully, you know that movie reference) without buoys or life vests and depend on their friends to have their eyes on the ocean in case something goes wrong? And vice versa…isn’t it okay for guys to throw caution to the wind once in a while and just go for it? I’m curious…

Love,

-V

P.S. Work has been hectic and my schedule has been crazy.

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