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Men of Sex & the City

There is something to be said about the men of Sex and the City. Every woman at one time or another has had a run-in with her Mr. Big.  Or saw someone as sexy as Smith (whose original name was Jerry), and knew he had potential. Or met someone as charming as Steve. Or found yourself attracted to someone who you were not attracted to at first.

It got me to thinking, after watching this second installment of the Sex and the City movie (and after seeing it a third time, it is getting better for me), which of the men would I want. Not actually the man himself, but the ideal. You know who I chose?

Okay, hear me out. Harry was…well…hairy. He goes against every ideal of each of the other men, but the things he could do to make himself more attractive, he wasn’t against (even if it did result in a rash). He was smart and funny and attentive. And he didn’t even attempt to screw the braless nanny. He has a brain and standards that he stuck to (hello Jewish conversion), so he wasn’t a pushover. He didn’t change himself, but accommodated his wife. He went above and beyond to make Charlotte feel special, and was supportive in her worst moment of losing a baby. And he could make you laugh, and almost nothing feels better than that at the end of a long day.

He may not have Big’s mystery, or Smith’s looks, or Steve’s…well…(what the heck does Steve have?) whatever, but he was loyal. And there’s a lot to be said for loyalty. Besides, Charlotte said it was the best you-know-what of her life. Bonus.

 

…so why do the Big’s of the world get us every time? (lol)

What do you think? Who would you choose?

Love,

-V

Warning – Spoiler Alert – If you haven’t seen the movie, and you don’t want to know what happened, don’t read this and get mad at me! I’m not going into detail, but still…

So I’d been counting down.

I bought shoes.

I bought tickets.

I bought tickets again.

I forced myself not to look for spoilers…

…I looked for spoilers anyway.

And now I’ve seen it (twice) and can tell you:

…it was okay.

Now it will be great to me simply because it was Sex and the City. I love the girls, no matter how lame they managed to make Miranda in this sequel (I mean really? WTF?), I love the men, and I was orgasmic over the shoes. But overall, I thought it was okay. Now, on the first viewing, I think I suffered from a case of too high expectations, because I left a little perturbed (that could also have to do with the blowout I had leaving the movie theatre). When I went and saw it the next night with a different group of friends, it got better, and I realize I was looking for something that wasn’t there. So here we go!

Character who stayed truest to the original character: Big

Big is Big. His wants may have changed, but his basic principle is the same: I want to do what makes me happy. They did show his evolvement as far as compromise is concerned. He turned off the tv when she wanted. He went to the premiere (although kicking and screaming), but his thoughts were his thoughts, and he did not allow his opinions to be swayed. He was committed to his marriage, no matter what Carrie did. And even in the “two days off” conversation: that was still him trying to be himself, but please Carrie. I mean, I get it.

Character who changed most from the original character: Miranda

Let me just say this: the old Miranda would not have let another attorney shut her down for two years. The old Miranda would not have planned an agenda for an entire all expenses paid trip. The old Miranda would have never, EVER said “Abu Dhabi Doo!” Ever. If they were trying to show her dealing with quitting, I am almost positive it could have been done without making New York’s most popular pessimist a dork.

Samantha seemed to serve as comic relief throughout the whole movie as well; not quite sure how I felt about that.

Most “Car-Wreckish” Moment: Liza Minelli doing the Single Ladies routine: Wow. Just wow. A close second is Samantha joining in from the audience. But it was good car-wreckish…if there is such a thing.

Best Throwback to the TV Series: Is not Aidan. It’s the Dior newsprint dress. I loved that dress when she wore it originally to apologize to Natasha. That, and her looking down at Big when he surprised her…I loved it, “Just like that, it was 1998 again.”

Funniest Small Part: Charlotte’s “I don’t knows”, followed by her admission that she was drunk. I actually think it was tied with her other line, “I can’t lose the nanny!”

Weirdest “Bradshaw” moment: The hat Carrie wore for Stanford’s wedding, and the hat she wore on the plane to Abu Dhabi. Even my trendiest, edgiest dressing friend was like “What the @!&*, Carrie?”

My Personal Favorite “Just for the Record” moment: Aidan kissed Carrie. Carrie pulled away first. Just wanted to make sure everyone knew that. I’m thinking he might’ve been thinking about her since she saw him on her way to meet Jack Berger. And, he might’ve given her the business had she not stopped it. That is progression from the old Carrie.

Hottest Random Guy: Nicky, Anthony’s brother. I was going to give it to Richard Spurt, the guy who was jumping sand dunes, but he lost some of his luster when he wasn’t wearing his head wrap thing.

The “That ish would NEVER happen” moment:  When all the women of Abu Dhabi took off their burkas and had feather vests and whatnot on. Really?

The “How I Know the Girls aren’t Black” moment: Erin would’ve been fired, or at least removed, when her t-shirt got wet. Quickly. And with force if necessary.

Best Woman’s Moment: The shoutout to single mothers. That was a good touch…and the realization that every women in the theatre KNEW that tv from big was a horrible anniversary gift, lol.

Overall: It was okay. It will probably grow on me the more I watch it, but I know what was missing: there was never that heartfelt friend moment. You know, like in the original movie when they stopped her from hitting Big with roses, or when Samantha fed her to ensure she ate in Mexico. But, the shoes made it worth it.

Non-biased Score: B-

Real Score: A, simply because it is Sex and the City! They can do no wrong to me.

So, what did you think?

Love,

-V

A few days ago, I was reading a post on Very Smart Brothas about what real friendship is…or means. The post was funny (and true…especially the checking your email part), and it got me to thinking. What are the other characteristics of real friends?

In honor of the fast-approaching premiere for SATC 2, I decided to list some aspects of friendship that were gathered from the show or previous movie. So, here we go:

  • "She's our friend...and she's sinking."

    Real friends tell you when you are being a b*tch. The use of the B-word can also mean bully/punk/anything else. It can also mean they’ll tell you when you’re wrong. Real friends will always have the courage to tell you the worst of yourself without worrying that the friendship will be completely over. Carrie had to tell Samantha that she was being inconsiderate to Miranda after Brady was born. Samantha didn’t like it, but it had to be said. I remember when my friend told me I was rude to her once, and it made me recognize it to ensure I did not do it again…at least not without knowing.

  • Real friends fight with you. Real friends don’t normally have to

    "I have made some mistakes...and Charlotte, YOU have made some mistakes."

    talk behind your back…and if they do, they’ve already said it to you, and had it out with you about  whatever it may be. The thing is that they are not scared to fight with you. Sometimes points must be made. Carrie didn’t appreciate Charlotte’s turning away from her when she was being faced with eviction…and she made sure to let her know.

  • Real friends are excited for you about little things. It doesn’t have to be a major accomplishment for your friend to want to break out bells and whistles. I told my best friend I went running after months of not doing so, and she got as excited as she was when I got those Louboutins for more than 40% off (that IS a big deal). Samantha broke out champagne for Carrie’s popped pimple, and Anthony was excited that Charlotte finally got some from her divorce lawyer. See…little things count.
  • Real friends know when not to give you advice. Sometimes you need your friends’ support, but not necessarily their opinion. I found this

    "I can't tell you what to do."

    out the hard way. It’s a hard thing to stand back when a friend is really going through, but allow them to make decisions for themselves. Carrie had to do that when Miranda considered an abortion. She was there for her either way, but let the final call be Miranda’s to make.

  • Real friends don’t charge you for the things they can do for free. Now I don’t mean if your friend can style hair, you expect her to buy dye and rollers. I mean the service fee. The other part of that is that you don’t take advantage of their talents. Not once in all of the episodes of Sex and the City did I see Miranda make any of the girls pay for legal advice. I’m just saying.
  • Real friends are there for you in your darkest hours. Whether it is after a breakup, a job loss, money woes, or a death in the family, you should be able to count on your friends to support you without worrying that you are bothering them.  Even years after the breakup I just went through, I’ll remember getting a box of jello, a pedicure set, and a gift card to blockbuster from my best friend when she couldn’t be here with me. I’ll also remember the phone call from my ace (line sister) telling me, “Get your *ss outta bed.” Even when they could not physically be here with me, their actions gave me the support I needed at the time. There are several examples of this, but I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves.
    • Real friends give you what you need, not necessarily what you want. Sometimes, it is difficult to see ourselves the way our friends see us. We feel rejected or inadequate. We want to do nothing when we need to move.  Those are the times when our friends yell  down our worst inner judge, or make us do what we don’t want. The most touching moment of Sex and the City: The Movie is when Samantha made Carrie eat breakfast. Sounds suspiciously like when a friend of mine took me to church, and wouldn’t take me home until she saw me digest something. 🙂
    • You can trust real friends with your most valuable possession. That could be your child, your car, or your brand new $400 shoes that are in her size…you know you’ll get them back without harm. (Well…maybe not the shoes.)

     

    • Real friends will tell you when you look a mess. Period.

    • Lastly, real friends will make an idiot out of themselves for you! No matter what you’re doing (like entering your dog in a dog show), a real friend will be there cheering you along. Even when you may not want them to…

    Carrie! I'm here!!

    So, anything to add? Do your friends fit the descriptions? Mine sure do, and they should consider this my thank you note to them. I am forever grateful. 🙂

    Love,

    V.

    The fun, the fashion, the friendship: “Sex and the City 2” brings it all back and more as Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker), Samantha (Kim Cattrall), (more…)
    61% want to see it

    R, 2 hr. 27 min.

    Director: Michael Patrick…

    Release: May 27, 2010

    So, I was reading my girl Alisha‘s blog, and she had an entry that caught my attention. It was basically about being close to 30 and the creation of a list of things to tangibly do.

    Now, I’m not knocking on 30’s door, but I am closer to that house than to the dormroom of my 20s. I got to thinking about it, and I had actually created a list at the beginning of the year. Somethings on it had to change due to the change in my situation, but there are a few things that I set out to do that I have done, and a few more that I have yet to do. I also had to edit this list, and I like it! Now, a lot of these things were prompted by Sex and the City, and some were not. I hope you like it just the same.

    1. 1. Buy a Pair of Christian Louboutins. Done.

     

    1. 2. Become more active in my church and/or sorority, or do volunteer work. I’ve started working on that also. Preferably, I’d like to do all three, so I’m not crossing it out.

     

    1. 3. Go on a roadtrip with friends. I want it to be something fun, like to the beach, or wayyy out of town. The last time I did this, I went to Disneyworld with the guy I was seeing at the time, his sister, and her boyfriend. I was 19. I still don’t know what my mother was thinking in letting me go. (smh)

     

    1. 4. Buy a sexy dress. And I can’t just buy it…I’d actually have to wear it somewhere.

     

    1. 5. Befriend someone I don’t like. Or at least do something nice for them. I did that this year.

     

    1. 6. Do something that terrifies me. Unless you’re already a close friend, most people don’t know that I have issues talking to strangers, be it man or woman, but especially guys. This year I have made friends with women, but talking to guys…I am not quite sure about that. Just randomly? I’m working on it. (Man, this could have been my shot!)
    2. 7. Redecorate my apartment. The way it’s set up now was the neutral setting I’d created for the time when I did not live alone. I want it to be more me. The person I am right now.Maybe this redecoration will actually be my buying a place, but for the next year, I’ll settle on redecorating.
    3. 8. Go after a personal dream. I really want to do this makeup thing. In the next year, I plan to convert it from a hobby I get paid to do, to another passion that also serves as an alternate source of income.

     

    1. 9. Take a trip out of the country. And going somewhere connected to the USA doesn’t count. I’ll need to cross an ocean. I’m thinking Rome, or Germany with my cousin next summer. Maybe Paris. Somewhere gorgeous and romantic, but preferably somewhere where I can get expensive shoes cheaper.

     

    1. 10. Start writing my book. If you’ve ever talked to me for longer than 20 minutes, I have endless stories about my students. Some sad, some crazy, some hilarious, and some touching, but all interesting. It’s time to archive and organize. Let’s get to it.

     

    1. 11. Sing karaoke. I’ve always wanted to go, but have never had anyone who was willing to go with me. I’ve heard people say you shouldn’t go if you can actually sing, but I think that is discrimination!

    12. ____________ I don’t know yet. Maybe cultivate a relationship…be it friend or other. Or, go to a gun range. In heels.

    Hey…a year is a long time. 🙂

    Do you have a list? What’s on it?

    Love,

    -V

    This article on Cosmopolitan.com just made me so happy. There is a lot of truth in it…especially when they analyze the whole Charlotte and Trey situation. I hope you enjoy! (I’m so ready for this movie)

    A few days ago, ShoeDazzle sent out this email:

    ShoeDazzleWhich CITY Girl Are You?Our stylists have chosen one of these shoes for you based on your style profile!Carrie - Miranda - Charlotte - Samantha

    So I happily went to my shoeroom, and it said I was Charlotte.

    *Gasp* Charlotte? Really? I wrinkled my nose up, and exited out of the site. Charlotte seemed so much less exciting in comparison to the other girls (and shoes…except those wedges. No words for those). I was talking to one of my co-workers, who was Samantha, and she said, “Yeah. You’re a Charlotte girl. And, you’re a Charlotte personality.”

    Okay, so I had a miniature breakdown when I got home (well, not really, just a train of obsessive thoughts). Am I Charlotte? She seems so drab in comparison to the other girls. Am I drab? Carrie is edgy, Samantha is bold, Miranda is happily sarcastic and pessimistic, and Charlotte seems naively optimistic.

    So, I got to thinking about my own self, and who I am. I am focused, with some very key morals. I may ride along with some things, but it is rare that you will get me to do something I think is wrong, or really don’t want to do. She can get influenced (Season 2, “They Shoot Single People, Don’t They?”), and she can lose her happy outlook on life (Season 5, “Unoriginal Sin”); she can be judgemental, and a  prude. She doesn’t always make the best decisions…like that unfortunate Trey experience.

    As I thought about it, I am like that. I can be influenced and not always happy. I can be judgemental and a prude, and make horrible decisions. But, like her, I’m also fiercely loyal to my friends. My favorite Charlotte moment was in Sex and the City: The Movie, when Big tries to come after Carrie after standing her up.

    "NO!...No!"

    She was so angry. She cried. She hurt for her friend, and even “cursed the day he was born.” Each of these women has a role in their circle, and her happiness keeps them all a little grounded and corny. Her moving speech is what got them all to the Hamptons (and got her crabs…but that is another issue) for a vacation because they were moved by her love. Even Carrie had to dedicate her book to her friend, who always believes in love (Unoriginal Sin).

    So, if I am Charlotte, I hope I am the type of friend to them that she is. She is not as flashy, or as loud or bold, but she is fly in her sophisticated way, and is one classy lady. So, Charlottes, wherever and whoever you may be, put on your best pearls, and celebrate your uniqueness. I happily join your ranks.

    Charlotte, the Class Act

    Charlotte, the Class Act

    Love,

    -V

    My bookclub is supposed to be currently reading Hill Harper’s “The Conversation”. (I haven’t bought the book yet, but I’ll have it read by the time of the meeting.) During my planning period today, I was visiting my friend’s classroom, and a conversation came from another male co-worker who saw the book on the desk. We discussed some of the questions in the book, and my friend and I gave our opinions in response to why it seems like the relationships of African-Americans don’t work out. We finished the conversation and were just sitting (because we were under intruder alert…don’t ask), and all of a sudden, he dropped this bomb:

    “The relationships don’t work because y’all women are too damn independent these days. You won’t let a man be a man.”

    It got me to thinking – is it that simple? Is that the only reason that black relationships don’t work?

    So, I got home and  watched the next Sex and the City episode, because I’m on Aidan-review (trying to be clear on the details in case I need them for the movie), and because it’s how I unwind. Men watch SportsCenter, I watch ___ (<- insert season and episode here). The next episode was Season 4’s “My Motherboard, My Self”. This is where Miranda’s mother dies from a heart attack, Carrie’s computer crashes, and Samantha loses her orgasm…though that last one probably won’t be referenced in this post.

    Anyway, when Carrie’s computer “sad mac”-ed, Aidan tries to rush to her rescue. He tries to help her solve the problems, accompanies her to the repair shop, and even bought her a new computer and back up system.

    My Motherboard, My Self

    Aidan tries to help

    He also tried to comfort her when Miranda’s mother died and she was grieving for her friend…but she walked away.

    Too Independent?

    Aidan was very angry that all his attempts at helping were rebuffed, and he ultimately walked away.

    My Motherboard, My Self

    Can't get in...

    Obviously, this isn’t just a state of being for African-American relationships, but it just may happen to everyone (at least the writers of this show). Then it popped in my head that what women are doing isn’t just out of bitterness or hardness, but it just may be a survival technique.

    It made me remember how pissed I was a few weeks after my breakup, and I was at Wal-Mart. I was grocery shopping, and I wanted to buy bottled water. I struggled getting the 24 pack in my cart, and it dawned on me: I can’t buy this water. I won’t be able to get it into my house because I can’t lift it. I almost started to cry.

    For the past five years, I’ve had someone to help me understand-lift-carry-figure out-accompany-etc…and now I don’t. When she apologized to Aidan for her bitchy-behavior, Carrie said, “…if you start helping me, and I get used to having that help…no good can come of that. What if one day you’re not around? We could fall apart…then what?”

    I think that women’s “over-independence” comes out of a necessity to make it. Eventually, I’ll have to buy some got-damned bottled water. And you know what, I’ll put a suitcase in my trunk that day, and when it’s time to take it in the house, I’ll wheel it in…and whenever I get in my next relationship, my man will say “Why don’t you let me bring your water in?” but my response might be “…because I can do it.”

    *shrug*…I guess just because we can do it doesn’t mean we always have to, but it’s hard to break out of something you were doing out of necessity. As women, we have to try…and as men, you can understand.

    Sometimes, as a woman is making that adjustment, the only thing you can do is be there when she does need you, even when she won’t admit it 😉

    My Motherboard, My Self

    Being There

    What do you think (whoever you might be…I only have 3 readers, lol)?

    Nevertheless, have a great day! 🙂

    -Ms. V

    Sex and the City 2 Poster

    Carrie On.

    There is one thing that you should know about me: I am a fanatic (clearly, since I started a blog based on my favorite show). I will sit on youtube watching what seems like hours of makeup tutorials. I watch commentaries of movies and shoes I like. I watch one Jay-Z (or T.I.) interview after another to find out any information that I didn’t already know. And…I’ve been planning my outfit for the Sex & the City 2 premiere for at least two months now. I have two pairs of shoes bought (also in consolation/celebration of being single), and I’m pretty sure that I shouldn’t buy anymore shoes for the rest of 2010.

    First, I bought a pair of Manolo Blahniks. Now, in 2008, I was looking for a pair to go to the first movie, and got a giraffe skinned mule. But, when I was checking it’s validity on neimanmarcus.com, I came across this pair. I loved them, but they were not what I was looking for. I was actually looking for the Manolos that were black with an electric blue feather, but I decided they costed too much (to my chagrin, Sarah Jessica Parker had them on the cover of Vogue the month of the movie’s premiere, but in ivory). I saw these on the website and fell in love with them, because I knew I could wear them other than for the movie. Well…guess what I found on Ebay in my size???

    Woo!

    Oh, the happiness!
    So now, I decide that I want to take it to the next level…after all, I’m going to see the movie here in Atlanta, and when I go home to Louisiana for Memorial Day. So…I came upon these beauties.
    Christian Louboutin Chiffon Platforms

    Christian Louboutin Chiffon Platforms

    I’m in love.
     
    And happy.
     
    And with significantly less money than when I started shopping. I started to punk out of getting them (even though I kind of had the money), and all of my friends said “Girl, you don’t have a husband or any kids. I can’t make purchases like that without it being okay’d by a committee. Celebrate this moment, because you may not get it again. THIS, if nothing else, is one of the perks of being single.”
     
    Believe it or not folks, I wasn’t making major purchases, because I thought this type of spending frivolous if one was saving for a wedding. 😐
     
    Both pair now sit in my closet.
     
    Happy SATC 2 to me 😉
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    This past Sunday, I was exceptionally late for church, and the usher tried to embarrass me lead me to a seat on the second row at the front. There were three seats on the end, and a younger girl occupied the next one, but she and her mom sat their things on the third chair. They were scrambling to move them, but I said not to worry about it and to leave their things as they were. As I settled in to the music, another person was seated next to me. I turned to look at him, and he was gorgeous. Threw me off a bit.

    As we sat down, the young lady next to me tapped my shoulder and asked if I had dropped my sunshades. After shaking me head in the negative, she said, “Would you ask him?” as she handed the shades to me. I turned and said, “Excuse me, but did you drop these?’ He answered me saying, “Yes ma’am. Thank you very much.” He had a deep southern drawl that sounded odd…like a mix of the deep south and military influences. Almost immediately, I thought he sounded like Louis from Louisiana from “Anchors Away”. 

    Louis from Louisiana

    Louis from Louisiana

    A Navy gentleman

    Louis showed up and was a perfect gentleman after Carrie had a particularly bad day with her “boyfriend,” the city of New York. He was nice, cute, and polite…just enough charm to shake her out of a bad day. Now granted, I wasn’t having a bad day, and even though I’m doing better day by day, my ended relationship has not been far from my mind. Anyway, Carrie’s conversation with Louis reaffirmed her relationship with her city, and while she appreciated him for it, she was happy to walk away.

    How many great loves do you get in a lifetime?

    This guy was enchanting. I had to talk to him a couple of times during the service, but could not bring myself to say anything else. He just seemed like a genuinely good person. And, even though my best friend thinks otherwise, maybe I wasn’t supposed to talk to him. Maybe it is just time to let these feelings happen to help me put life into perspective.  Or maybe, I’m a chicken.

    How do I do this? I have a stranger-aversion, and am not sure what to say. It could come off all awkward and embarrassing. So ultimately, I let him walk away. I guess I’m not ready for this…or maybe I’m still in love. Can’t redecorate when you are holding on to old furniture. I just need time. Like Carrie said at the end of this episode, “Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. You have to let go of who you were to become who you will be.”

    "I can't have nobody talking sh*t about my boyfriend." --Carrie

    Love,

    -V

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