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I met a man today.

Well, a man met me. I was in the mall grabbing some lunch so that I could continue with my errands for the day, and he walked up to me and said, “Excuse me. Would you have dinner with me sometime?” I was shocked, and surprised. I was in bummy running errand clothes: jeans, t-shirt, flats, messy bun, and mascara. The phone calls to friends about this occurence was met with squeals and anxiety. Everyone was excited for me. I wasn’t excited about the guy, just the event.

The possibility of a new relationship...

Potential new beau? Or just potential?

I am so out of practice. I had been in a relationship for the past five years, so my normal answer to such a question would have been no. It reminded me of Carrie and the politician, right after her Big breakup…in more ways than one. After giving out my telephone number (which I haven’t done in a number of years), there were a dozen sweet things happening (like a thank you for your number text), and some weird ones (like telling me almost everyone was going to hell).

Overall, I think it means that the hope of a romantic future is not far-fetched. It’ll just take practice and openness. And people not being crazy.

Stress is a...

"Get it Together..."

I have many versions of it. Besides my faith, which I must say, is the root of my therapy, I use several things to refocus my thoughts when I’m feeling down. I have been using all of them recently.

2010 started very promising, and it went awry. Even with the many people who support and love me, ultimately when I come home, I am alone, and that is when I have to deal with me. It reminds me of when Carrie was in turmoil after her break-up with Big, and she talked about how the relationship was a series of games and it didn’t work out. Charlotte said, “Well, maybe the game’s not over. Maybe it’s just half-time.”

In my own life, as I try to make the adjustment to this new phase, I wonder if I am truly supposed to be moving away from it, or if it is a phase. I was so excited when I started this blog, and then the whirlwind of events pushed me to a place where I could not even focus on what to write. It seemed as if every aspect of my world was crumbling. I know I’m a strong person, but this was a bit much…and everyone who I know loves me is at least a 7 hour drive away. To quote Carrie, “The loneliness is palpable.” Have any of you felt this way? How did you deal? I can’t help but wonder…What is REALLY going on?

Not only is my relationship over, but I got my wisdom teeth pulled, my eyelids were too puffy to apply mascara, and I had one helluva workweek. Let’s just say that police were involved. Geez…

This honestly makes me think of the episode “What Goes Around Comes Around” in Sex and the City when Carrie was robbed at gunpoint for her purse, and her Manolo Blahniks. I mean, really? Relationship, teeth, no mascara, AND job??

However, I do now realize how many people I have in my corner. For them – my family and friends – I am eternally grateful. A former student, my mentee, came up to the school today to see about me. He gave me a handwritten note that said, “Thank you for being the first and most important person to ever believe in me.” Besides the trailer for Sex and the City 2, that was the highlight of my week.

My boyfriend of five years and I just broke up for good this morning…

No details here, but I will tell you that the only thing that has stopped my tears, even if just for a moment, is this:

The second opinion

Are two heads better than one?

We have all done it. Replayed a conversation over and over and over, listening for miscues in inflection, or emphasis that we might have previously missed. And if that weren’t enough, we will call a friend for the “second opinion”…

This is the opinion that you get to either confirm or deny what you really think. There is a moment in Season 1, “The Valley of Twenty-Something Guys” where Carrie asks Miranda to listen to a message to figure out if Big is meeting her as a “date” or as a “friend”. This moment is often overlooked as it shares the episode with the “Up the Butt” conversation…which is classic. However overshadowed it may be, it let me know then that this show would be something special because it truly captured a moment that could actually happen in real life. It reminds me of the frantic times I have called my best friend three states over to reread a text message to figure out what it means. Just this past week, as I am in the throes of a relationship-“whatever”, a text message that ended in “sweetheart” threw me for a loop. “Are we going to stay together? Why would he say that?” We must’ve talked about this cryptic sweetheart for 20 gotdamned minutes! We even asked her husband what he thought (to which he promptly left home to go to the gym and leave us to our analysis…punk).

But really, where does this overanalysis get me? Just with one other opinion besides my own in my head as I’m trying to fall asleep. But, I’m addicted. I need a second opinion. On shoes? No. On what the heck this dude is thinking? Yes. Why? I guess it’s our Achilles’ heel when we can really reach no resolution anyway. It’s only a golden helmet when it can lead us somewhere. (By the way, that’s an Athena reference. Get your Greek mythology game up!) Either way, it is therapeutic to have someone trying to figure it out with you. At least that’s what I’ll tell myself. Am I gonna stop doing it? Probably not…I’m addicted.

Til next time,

-V

I know. I know. I have too much time on my hands. (Actually I don’t.) What is the point? (Not actually sure.) This is dorky. (Might be.) But, I’m typing anyway. So here goes:

My name is Vivienne. I am a 27 year old teacher in Atlanta, and originally from Louisiana. I am a part-time makeup artist. I am also a major fan of the Sex and the City franchise. I never watched it when it was actually airing on television, but you can blame that on being a college student with no HBO. I was at the national convention of my sorority in 2004, caught it on TBS, and got Carried away.

After a conversation, my co-worker told me that I should start a blog because, inevitably, I can reference moments of SATC in our everyday conversation to make a point. Hell, I can even identify shoes by season and episode, but that’s neither here nor there. How do I even remember? I do not know…maybe we can attribute that to having never smoked weed in my life. Anyway, after a very perplexing relationship shift in a five year relationship, I started watching the episodes again as a form of free therapy. You know, “pick a random episode and see what I can pull from it to help ease my mind about xyz.”

So here it goes. It might be stupid. Hell, it might be great. Who knows? But I do know that it’ll be here on Sex and the City Psychology.

Am I looking forward to the ride? Abso-f*cking-lutely.

-V

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