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Everyone I know has been talking about men and their potential, and how women either need to look for it, work with it, or ignore it. My friends and I have had several conversations about the woman’s kryptonite, potential. Some feel that as long as a squinting woman thinks she can see it with bifocals on, men have it made in the shade. Others believe it is up to women to cultivate that potential. Even others believe that unless a man with potential has made some visible steps towards action, leave him alone.

My view is a mixture of them all. I like potential. It can be refreshing. I do have issue with having to be the catalyst for you to start moving. What happens if I am not there? Or if we have a falling out…does all movement stop? I am a firm believer in intrinsic motivation. If you are counting on an outside party to motivate you, that thing becomes a variable which can shift. A friend of mine and I were discussing this while watching The Book of Eli (I hadn’t seen it, and most of my friends gave me the side eye when they found out. She let me borrow her copy.), and she said, “It’s like Carrie and the cigarettes.” She immediately followed this statement by saying, “I’m around you too much. I’m starting to speak in Sex and the City.” Lol…Don’t ever fight the feeling when you feel it. (It’s a good day when you can reference Day 26…or maybe not…whatever)

All jokes aside, she had a point. I said, “I’m pretty sure I’m going to write about this.” In Season 3, (No Ifs, Ands, or Butts) Carrie gave up cigarettes to date Aidan. She  hadn’t been thinking about giving them up, but it was a non-negotiable for him (at least at the time). Her friends even encouraged him being a good reason to stop, even when Carrie said (in what I thought sound judgment) “When I want to quit, I’ll quit, but it won’t be because some guy told me to.” By the end of that show, she flushes her cigarettes down the toilet (is that safe? I always thought there could’ve been a better way to do that, lol), and proudly puts on a patch. This is the 5th episode of the season, but by episode 9 she not only biblically “know” Big again, she’s smoking too! All of this when separated from her inspiration? Hmm…

This is my point. When all someone has is proximity potential – the potential that only seems to move into action when in the proximity of an inspiration – they can be a good person, but how likely is it for things to retard when out of range? While I love potential, there should be some sure kinetic signs before I invest. All I’m saying is that if you tell me your dream is to sell snowcones in Hawaii, I’m with you. I’m probably checking and comparing kart prices…but I’m not giving them to you until you mention that you found a spot to set it up.

What say you? I hope you’ve had an awesome week!…and I want my hour back daylight savings :\

Love,

–V

P.S. Praying for Japan, and the people and families around the world affected by the tsunami.

 I was in college before I knew that Mardi Gras was, in fact, NOT a national holiday.

I didn’t know that other folks were not celebrating Fat Tuesday and the Monday before it with hand grenades and/or beignets.

I did not know that there were people who did not know what a King Cake was (poor babies…)

I was delightfully unaware that people were at work and school like it was any other Tuesday. And even after I did know…that was just them…

…until I moved to Georgia and had to work on *gasp* Mardi Gras. This is treacherous to a born and bred Louisiana Girl.

So though I haven’t had the time to write out the post I’ve been outlining in my head, I couldn’t let the day pass without celebration. So to all my people in Louisiana, in person or in mind, please grab an umbrella and have some crawfish for me! 😉

Love,

–V

P.S.  I decided today that I am taking off every Mardi Gras from here on out. Even if I don’t travel home, it just seems wrong to be at work. Blame it on 22 years of conditioning 😉

Last night, two friends came over and we watched my admittedly favorite season of Sex and the City (Season 3). We started at the beginning with “Where There’s Smoke” and so many blog post options came about, but I decided to write about leftovers.

In this case, I am not talking about food. I’m talking about issues. I have talked at length about how slow I’m taking it, but I am now recognizing that one of the major reasons for my SlowPoke Rodriguez is the issues that were created as a result of my breakup. I have never had issues of this sort before, but now they are rearing their ugly heads. I find it difficult to believe anything without proof, and this has a lot to do with the lies of my ex. I think it’s only an issue because I chose to move past every lie I discovered, thinking that we were moving forward. That, my friends, was my fault in hindsight.

In this episode when Carrie met the politician, he offered to buy her a drink, which she declined until he gave a reason that didn’t seem threatening to her. He asked for her address, which she only gave after he explained that he would only use it for the official government purpose of telling her voting district. He asked for her number, which she chose not to give. He asked if it was a bad break-up, and was rewarded with a silence (and a half).

The entire theme of this episodes was being rescued as a princess; however, each woman fought it tooth and nail, or accepted the appearance when it didn’t add up. Miranda didn’t want Steve to help her get home after eye surgery. Charlotte allowed her “white knight’s” appearance to overcloud his reality. Samantha tried to create her own fantasy, and only ended up embarrassed.

This is what I wonder. It can’t be that easy to find the line between pulling back and going full throttle. If it was, everyone would understand relationships overnight. And even when you get past the surface of your pain, the undercurrents are harder to heal. Carrie put it best by saying, “I was so burned in my last relationship that I was terrified of leaping off into the next one.” Even when her guy showed an act of faith of showing up, she sat there fully dressed and refused to give in to his request. It took Miranda to put it into perspective. That realization gave her the courage to share with the politician that it was a bad breakup, and she needed to take things slowly. I recently had a conversation with a friend about this, and she said something very profound. She said, “Your fear is hand in and with some void that you have yet to discover. It is important to find it before you hurt him. He can’t pay for what he didn’t do. And you aren’t even doing anything to him, but your refusal to act can do even a little bit of damage that isn’t deserved.”

Good point.

You have to deal with your leftovers. As anyone can tell you, leftovers left too long are just a mess to clean up, but the sooner you do it, the better. Then maybe, like Miranda, I’ll be able to see him, or whoever, more clearly. Because obviously, “Where There’s Smoke…”…there IS fire.

I hope you all had wonderful weekends. I enjoyed our rainy weekend, and got much-needed rest.

Love,

–V

Everyone has wondered about this at least once.

So today, I had a really interesting day at work. It started discouraging because of frustration about a strategy to help a student, but it ended on a high note because in a separate class, I saw true growth with some of my most challenging students. I was having a conversation with my co-teacher who stepped into the last class (we co-teach in the first class), and said that the ability I have to keep my students engaged has to be a superpower. She exclaimed, “She’s leaping whole schools in a single bound!” We kinda laughed about it, but it got me to thinking…

What kind of Superhero would I be? (Oh yeah, this is a light and airy kind of day)

American Maid

I used to think about what kind of superpower I would want if I could have one. I think I’ve got it. I’d be a mix of American Maid from “The Tick” and Angelina Jolie in…well…almost anything where Angelina Jolie is doing Angelina Jolie-type things, you know, like “Mr. and Mrs. Wanted Tourist in 60 Seconds for a Tomb Raider” or something. I’d need to be able to wield a stiletto as a weapon, but have my hair down and a serious cat-eye.

I mean, anyone who could take out bad guys with hoop earrings on has to be cool, lol. And I’d prefer to be in these shoes…

...please and thank you

Wait…I can’t throw those. Hmm…maybe I’d need to ensure my shoes were like boomerang shoes. But I digress… 

In Season 3 (Hot Child in the City), Carrie met Wade Adams a comic book store owner, who piqued her interest by drawing her as a superhero.

It was a rather cute way to get her attention, even if this did ultimately present a problem…(this will be a later post, but I needed to break up some of the seriousness of the topics). It was enough for her to indulge fantasy and playfulness. Everyone needs that kind of release.

So, do you have a “superhero” you? I swear, every time I wear this certain pair of black platform high heels with pink soles, I become Mrs. Smith 8) I even play theme music in my head. Hey, don’t judge me.

 

Feminine Bad Chick

...better duck! lol

 

Love,

–V

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