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"She can reach me, but I can't get her..."

Lately, (and by lately I mean the past month of so) I feel like I have been in a certain episode of Sex and the City, “Belles of the Balls” (I   have also felt like I was in Lean on Me, but that’s another post for another blog. Oh well, Summer vacation started at 2:31pm. YESSSSS…..). Every guy I know, or every girl who is in a relationship, has been discussing emotions. More specifically, the discussion has been on guys’ emotions. What is making the Y-chromosome ooze with sensitivity these days?

Carrie (Season 4) experienced this when Aidan felt “some kinda way” when Big called her late at night to discuss his movie star girlfriend, and even more so once Big’s heart was so broken that he felt it necessary to drive to Suffern, NY just to talk to Carrie about it. Aidan compared Big to Batman, and himself to the Green Lantern, just to deal. Obviously, a battle of the balls egos ensued. Miranda was dealing with Steve’s dodging the testicular cancer bullet, only to be sidelined because he felt uncomfortable having a single scrotum. He wanted to go as far as to have a implant testicle, until the doctor revealed that it hadn’t been cleared. My favorite Miranda line after Steve said it should be safe? “That what they said about the Ford…You want a Pinto near your penis?” I guess that visual made him re-think, lol. Charlotte’s issues dealt with Trey’s ED, while Samantha’s dealt with injustice in hiring because of her activities as a female. Just shenanigans all around.

The more specific real-life example is about recovery time. Recovery time is the time it takes a person who is mid-fight in a relationship to pull it together in front of others. The females (and I) think that if “real life” comes calling, we have to suck it up and deal with business. Every single guy was like “Aw hell naw! You not gonna be mad at me, and then laugh and joke with others. If you mad, you better stay mad the whole time.”

That was astounding. Women generally felt like the major factor was that if business has to be handled, it is not anyone else’s business what is going on in the relationship. Men said that it seems like if we have too quick of a recovery time, it may indicate a lack of caring in general…not just about the situation or fight, but about him. Even my boyfriend agreed. (Yep, I have one…:) ) I even distinctly remember that being a concern with all of the women at work about how if they show an inkling of emotion at work, they are ridiculed for it. Remember that? “Ooh be careful, don’t make Charlotte cry!”

Wow.

It is still something I can’t quite grasp. Guys, do you feel this way? Ladies, are you with them on this? I’d like to know.

Here’s some music while you think it out…lol

Love,

–V

P.S. I’m going on vacation soon…I’m too excited about it!

 I’m pretty sure that most people would agree that Big was probably the guy on the show who was the least understood. His logic was not Carrie’s (or anyone else’s for that matter). The only close second was Berger, but we knew what his issue was. It was more obvious that Big’s. Big’s issue was so slick, we weren’t sure it was there at all.

Anyway, after reading this entry on Jozen’s “Until I Get Married” it made me think of “Belle of the Balls”. This was pretty much about the men of the show and their insecurities: impotence, identity, manliness, etc… Even some of the guys I’ve befriended have expressed their reluctance at being completely transparent. One guy said to me, “Well, when you tell the whole truth, everyone knows the whole truth.”

Now don’t get me wrong, I do not want men to become women, expressing their emotions and shortcomings at every given turn (women don’t even go that far, I hope). However, I would like to know what is the fear with being a little more open? A smidgen, even? It’ll probably help you out too…all of that posturing has to get tiring at some point. “Cool Pose” and all that.

What do you think?

Love,

-V

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