Idiot Stick Figure With No Soul…

Okay, if you watch the show, you know to what this title refers (Two points if you actually do…hint, Season 3). The post doesn’t have much to do with that person, but when I think of this particular subject, that title always pops out to me.

So, an associate of mine and I were having a conversation about the next girl. You know, the girl (or guy, depending on who you are) who reaps the benefit of your blood, sweat, and tears in the relationship that failed. The ex, whoever he or she may be, gets all of these revelations that if they had had them 2 years, or 2 months, earlier, you all would have still been in bliss. She said, “I’m like Good Luck Chuck…they leave and find happily ever after. What am I doing??”

It got me to thinking about patterns in relationships. Do you find you have a pattern of “issues” in your serious relationships? Do we have patterns of partners that we choose? Even Carrie was most attracted to people she could not really understand (Big, Berger, and Petrovsky). The moments she most wanted Aidan was when she couldn’t figure him out…when he stopped answering her calls after she told him to do so, or after she saw him and he barely acknowledged her presence at the opening of Scout. She found herself always “waiting” on them in some way. Big and his heart, Berger and his ego, Petrovsky and his work.

Another acquaintance of mine and I were having a conversation about men, women, and the cuckoo gene (that cuckoo gene copyright goes to my brother). He said, “These women are crazy! They all want to try to make me take my focus off my grind, even when I specifically tell them what my focus is. They all have the cuckoo gene!” I stopped him and said, “Wait a minute, hon. The only thing these women have in common is you.” It gave him pause.

So this leads me to my thought…how much of the issues that we encounter in our relationships do we invite? I have found that though I don’t have a “physical” type, I do have a personality “type” so to speak. I seem to be drawn to guys who are intelligent with a great sense of humor. You know, lots of personality, and who are enamored that I keep up with their humor, so they keep up with my brain. In the past few months I’ve realized that the downfall to that is I may not be getting the real person. They can hide behind their humor. So later on, when they are forced to show me the real them, I get confused. This invites issues of trust and so on. Every. Single. Time. Now, I can recognize this moreso now, and am working on how to rectify it, if possible.

What about you? Do you agree? Do you have a pattern?

Love,

-V