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I had absolutely nothing to write today. I was thinking hard. Because I had a great weekend celebrating my birthday, I wasn’t really focused on finding connections. And also…I was cheating on Carrie with the new love of my life – Olivia Pope. BET showed a Scandal marathon, and I got caught up in it. It was like Law and Order for a second…if I didn’t hurry and change the channel, I was going to get caught up for the next 14 hours and miss my birthday dinner, lol. But as I re-watched Season 1 on Saturday and parts of SATC2 tonight to try and find inspiration for something to write, I realized something: Carrie and Olivia have a few things in common.

carrie2satc_468x500scandal1

 

These are two seemingly very different women in exponentially different personal spheres. What could they have in common? Here is what I thought: First, they use their avenues of influence as personal therapy. Carrie’s column took the brunt of most of her “in my head” analyzing. Olivia’s relationship issues turned out to be her best advice to her clients. Everyone remembers the advice of the century to the guy who was in love with his brother’s wife…and the best line ever?

scandalstolenmoments“Stolen moments aren’t a life.”

I remember saying out loud, “Encourage yourself, girl…speak over yourself.” Then I thought…it’s very similar to what Carrie said to Aidan when he realized she was “cheating”. Cigarettes became the allegorical symbol for her infidelity.

Second, neither of them could make what they knew was right stick. How many times did both Carrie/Olivia say they were done with Big/Fitz? Eventually, Carrie and Big married, but when things got too happy and comfortable, she lived for the spice up. They made an entire storyline out of that for the Sex and the City 2 movie (Really? She was bored. That was all that happened for her in the second movie. She was bored.) For different reasons, Olivia won’t let she and Fitz get to their happily ever after. She pulls out at the end each time. I’m pretty sure this just makes the show work, but work with me here.

Third, even with the ideas of their fathers, I remember when the guy who worked with Carrie at Vogue told her she spends her whole life asking questions about men because her father left without answers (Season 4, “A Vogue Idea”). I wonder how Olivia’s relationship with Rowan affects how she interacts with guys. She couldn’t make the relationship with Edison work. You could argue that he was like Carrie’s Aidan. Additionally, you can’t refute the effect that both shows have had on women. Pope’s power is the new Carrie’s fashion. I swear when I went to DC this summer, I just wanted a white coat so I could walk around posing by things. With gloves. Totally with gloves. In a heat wave. That’s the kind of nerd I am.

scandalLastly, the thing they have most in common is that they are flawed. Very flawed. Carrie is there for her friends, she’s a successful writer, and had wonderful shoes…but she didn’t have the greatest moral compass. Same with Pope…smart and powerful with a fly wardrobe, loves the family she created at OPA, but finds it exceedingly difficult to turn away from One Minute moments. Olivia’s very emotion-filled “I don’t show up to places just because you want me,” was convincing, but short-lived. Same with Carrie’s “You can drive up this street all you want because I DON’T LIVE HERE ANYMORE!” (Season Six Part 2, “An American Girl in Paris – part une”) only to find herself laughing with him on the floor of a Parisian hotel.  That’s women. That’s people. We are flawed. We’ve announced to the world, our friends, or at least to ourselves that we are done with some person/place/thing only to answer a text, be caught in an Instagram photo, or have it in our hands again. we mess up. Maybe not on the scales that get to be discussed incessantly by bystanders who claim they’d NEVER be in that situation, but we do.

I couldn’t help but draw comparisons between two of the most discussed woman characters on television of past and present. I love both of the women, but I appreciate that the characters are flawed. That’s life. Big had to travel to Paris and Fitz had to wait out a clock, but the stories and cycles are similar.  I’m curious as to how Pope and Fitz’ stories will turn out. Carrie got married and her happy (ish) ending, but I doubt Shonda will let it be tied up with that pretty a bow.

Come on October 3rd.

Do you watch Scandal? Do you see any other comparisons? Shout ’em out.

Love,

-V

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On last Thursday (not yesterday), I went to a Ru Sans for lunch because I wanted Asian food. I didn’t know that they did a buffet, so I got the fried rice I wanted, broccoli, and an endless supply of sushi…my Nook and I were ready for a pretty nice afternoon. I took a small booth near the door, and prepared to read and eat.

There was a couple sitting to my side and a bit behind me. Because of our close proximity, I could make out their conversation, but I was trying to be engrossed in my book. However, there was a strand of dialogue that perked my ears, “He just doesn’t get me.”

Maybe it was the tone of her voice that made it stand out. Maybe it was the “he” pronoun when she was already there with a guy. It kind of made me chuckle like, “Someone is about to get broken up with.” His response was, “I completely understand. I’ve felt alone with her for the past two months.” My reaction turned from the chuckle to an “uh-oh….” I listened to them hash out their earnest complaints and desires about the person to whom they were committed. He played video games with a headset on for hours while ignoring the flesh and blood person sitting in his living room. She didn’t make the effort to give him to type of love he wants. And right when I was about to be lost in my book again, I heard her say “husband”.

My immediate thought was, “Molly…..you in danger, girl.” Unbeknownst, or maybe even beknownst (can you be beknownst? How can you just add random prefixes to words that don’t stand alone? Sorry…anyway……) to her, she was setting herself up for an affair. This communal gripe session was giving root to the allowance of those feelings being watered elsewhere. I wondered if they could see it coming. I wondered if they prepared for it in advance. I wondered if they had made the decision to cheat.

samanthaRichardAtlanticCityIt makes me think of Carrie and Aidan, the second go round in Season 4 (“Time and Punishment”). Or Samantha and Richard’s round 2 in Season 5 in Atlantic City (“Luck Be an Old Lady”). Or Charlotte, Harry, and the nanny in the Sex and City 2 movie. All of these were differing levels of the possibility of infidelity, and at some point, someone saw it coming. Notice I didn’tnanny mention the Carrie/Aidan/Big fiasco of Season 3. Big may have known his intentions, but for all intents and purposes, Carrie was a bit caught off guard. She tried her best to avoid him until she got thrown up against an elevator wall, lol. When Aidan was annoyed that Big was still around, he started hanging out with the female bartender (who obviously knew about her) and got very close to the “inappropriate” line. Samantha and Richard might’ve been a self-fulfilling prophecy because Samantha couldn’t let go of his past indiscretion, and was just waiting for it to happen again by side-eyeing every waitress and cleaning girl. Charlotte never considered the possibility that Harry would step out on her because she trusted him (still my favorite couple!), until her friends planted the idea, and then it was all she could see.

My point is this: at some point there is a moment of recognition and a moment of escape. Carrie called Aidan out on it so they could have the actual forgiveness conversation; Samantha cut her losses before that shoe hit the ground; and Charlotte…well she over-analyzed it while in Abu Dhabi but ultimately trusted her husband because the root of her issue didn’t stem from him, but from her friends warning her about the “Jude Law” (at least I think so. I didn’t like the second movie, so I didn’t watch it as much. I totally hope that’s what happened).

I remember being saddened once I found out she was married…that girl in the restaurant. I was discussing this with two of my closest friends, and decided that I wanted to warn her in some way. I wanted her to not become what she would despise. I was writing it on a napkin…”be careful.” I turned around to see how to give it to her, and they were gone. Who knows where. I hope they were going to have these conversations with someone else…their significant others (hopefully)… counselors… Iyanla… somebody! I didn’t want those two friends talk to give way to action that was not-so-friendly.

But I will tell you what I learned from the show and this situation – a lesson from each.

  1. Call it like you see it…you might even get some true forgiveness out of it.
  2. Know when to hold ’em, and know when to fold ’em. (this is not about towels)
  3. You should probably only trust details of your relationship to people who care as much about IT prospering as you do. This is different from people who care about you. Those can be opposites.

So what would you do if faced with the same situation, in any perspective? I’m curious. Let me know.

Love,

-V

Who is Jasmine you say? Jasmine is my neighbor. I have never officially met her, but I know her name. Do you know why?

Because every Monday, Thursday, and Saturday, Jasmine and Jasmine’s guy friend get. it. in.

I am slightly concerned that I don’t know his name, according to Trey Songz, but that is neither here nor there. The issue is that Jasmine is waking me up on a regular basis. He is yelling, so my guess is that she must know how to do the Lynn-Spin or something.

Anyway…all I want is a decent 6-8 hours without looking for my earmuffs. Is that too much to ask? Now I know how Carrie felt at Anthony and Stanford’s wedding with Samantha next door.

Geez.......

How would you handle this? A bang on the wall (doesn’t work)? Visit? A post-it that says, “I’m sorry. I can’t. Don’t hate me.”? Smh…

Love,

–V

I hate* my friends.

Heart to Heart...

They consistently try to point out logic and truth when I don’t want to hear it. I was talking to one of my friends about my timidity of trusting someone and stepping out into relational waters again. She said, “Like, real talk? Not about him, or about your ex, because you haven’t said anything negative about him since the new year, but you have been throwing major shade at yourself. You are letting someone’s past actions dictate how you act, even if it is ‘in spite of.’ You are responding to him in defense of what you think he’ll do, and you need to remember that he is not your ex. You can’t treat him like he is, or like he will be. You have to let him be him, and take it how it goes. I’m not saying don’t be cautious, but don’t do this.”

*crickets* 😳

I gave the only response that I could give in that moment….

…”No, YOU stupid.”

We both cracked up. I acknowledged what she said, but thought about it on the car ride home. How much credit do we give our past in how we go about our present? I hate the idea that my past relationship can have that much power over the things I do right now. Who is really running these decisions that I make?

Another friend of mine called me a cold freezer today. He said I either have some hellified defense mechanisms, or I really don’t care. I believe it is the former. Only your friends can tell you those things about yourself that you don’t really want to hear. Or acknowledge. They can call into question your actions that you don’t want to analyze for yourself. They can make you view it so even if you decide to keep doing what you’re doing, you’re doing it consciously. Doesn’t that suck? Miranda did it for Charlotte in SATC 2: the movie. She forced her to admit that motherhood is not always nice, fun, or wanted. Only then could she really say what she wanted or needed, and stop running herself crazy or being resentful.

The ending of my last relationship blindsided me. In hindsight it should not have, but in the moment, it did. I keep wondering if I will walk into another head-on collision unprepared, so I’m checking every nook and cranny for possible signs. My friend said if I continue to do that, it in and of itself will cause the accident I was looking for. (She didn’t state it in this manner, but you know, implications and whatnot.) So I can admit this: I’m scared.

*sigh* 😕

Can’t you see why I hate* my friends? I just can’t right now. Goodnight 🙂

Love,

–V

* hate here means desperately thankful for even if I don’t admit it in the moment. This definition stops at the culmination of this post, and is only active within the confines of the post itself.

Man is not meant to live alone. It is also my opinion that man is not meant to be around the humans for 100% of his time either. I have been going at an accelerated pace for a few weeks now…rarely having time alone unless there was toilet paper present (Note: this can also mean shower…toilet paper is present in the same vicinity when you shower. Don’t just jump straight to the #2).

This past weekend, besides climbing a mountain ( 😦 ), I had a bunch of plans. It was my friend’s birthday (Shoutout Danielle! Woooo!), I had a soror in town, another friend’s birthday celebration, and was supposed to get together with a third friend later on. Well, to make a long story short, 3 out of the 4 events either did not happen, or did not happen as planned, which left me with a pretty free Saturday night.

My first thought was to attempt to fill it with something else, but nothing worked. So, I went home. And sat there. And read. And slept. And it was fan-frickin’-tastic.

We need that time alone. It’s that time that helps to replenish us. We get an opportunity to reflect or rest, pray or sing, or simply stare at our own cuticles for 30 minutes just because we feel like it.

In Season 4 (“Just Say Yes”), Aidan moved in with Carrie after her apartment went co-op. I’m willing to argue that she ultimately said yes because she had something to lose by saying no (her place to live). Ultimately, he wanted to marry her. Her initial response was ”I’m not ready to get engaged yet, but I love you and I wanna live with you.” Even once it happened, she still was not happy. She had an issue with his greeting technique. She had to ask for him not to talk to her when she walked through the door. She simply wanted to be alone.

I may be going through that phase right now. Since I have had an opportunity to slow up a bit, I am perfectly content in my alone-ness. I get to do the things that you can only do when you are home alone: the SSBs – Secret Single Behaviors (Carrie discussed this in the next episode, “The Good Fight”). When discussing her own, she said, “I like to make a stack of saltines. I put grape jelly on them. I eat them standing up in the kitchen reading fashion magazines” (which, admittedly, is weird). For me, I like to walk through my house, straightening up in my underclothes. I can watch hours of youtube videos on how to do random beauty tasks, like fingernail designs or threading eyebrows (WHICH I have gotten pretty good at by the way).

This alone time is necessary, but how long do you go with it before you offend those who want some of your time?  Because I’m pretty happy with me, myself, and I right now. Had Charlotte acknowledged her need to be alone, she wouldn’t have cracked over some icing on a vintage skirt. 🙂

What do you think? And, what is your SSB?

Love,

-V

I’m Back! And I didn’t get left in Mexico, which is an added bonus.

This vacation was much needed, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I did some things I’ve never done before, including singing Karaoke, which was on my list of things to do in a year. I also did everything on my list of things to do on this vacation. I talked to a guy (I actually talked to two, but one didn’t count, because I was commenting on his t-shirt that read “Orgasm Donor”.  Out of order). He sang John Legend during Karaoke, and I complimented his performance. He accepted it, and then immediately said “Hey, I wasn’t with them white girls.” I said, “A hit dog’ll holla…I didn’t say anything about that!” All good fun!

I also hit a pose…it is my favorite picture of myself thus far from the vacation. I got the perfect windblown hair across the face, not-smiling-but-happy pose. Oh sweet victory. It reminded me of when Carrie walked away from Big at the plaza, really slowly, with her hair blowing all everywhere. Well, not really, but as I typed this it does, so it’s the same difference 😉

My cousin and I sang No Doubts’ “Don’t Speak” for Karaoke. That was one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever done in my life. Thought I would pass out for a second there. The host said, “In 4 years on this boat, this is the best I’ve ever heard that song done. Wow.”

Anyway, there were plenty of Sex and the City-esque moments. They may not be major, but I did remember them to document them here, and to remind myself how completely dorky I can be.

1. They kept playing that song “Jeremiah was a bullfrog…” It is a song Carrie sang after leaving a party with a waiter after telling Big she loved him, and he did not reciprocate. Pretty sure that was season 2…

2. Only I would go to Mexico and buy nail polish and makeup…sort of like Carrie being in Abu Dhabi and buying those shoes from that stand.

3. I got away to get my mind off of someone, only to be reminded of him in several ways. Very nostalgic, but no turning back. Sort of like Carrie escaping to L.A…. though she went back eventually. That is not in my plans.

All in all, the cruise was a ton of fun, but there were instances of it where it seemed very romantic. I would most definitely do it again with someone special. In the words of Tamia, I’m looking forward “my last first kiss.” At least for now 😉 Anyway, I did a lot of thinking about the future, and a plan is forming. It is very vague now, but it is taking shape.

How did you spend your 4th? I hope it was enjoyable!

Love,

-V

Men of Sex & the City

There is something to be said about the men of Sex and the City. Every woman at one time or another has had a run-in with her Mr. Big.  Or saw someone as sexy as Smith (whose original name was Jerry), and knew he had potential. Or met someone as charming as Steve. Or found yourself attracted to someone who you were not attracted to at first.

It got me to thinking, after watching this second installment of the Sex and the City movie (and after seeing it a third time, it is getting better for me), which of the men would I want. Not actually the man himself, but the ideal. You know who I chose?

Okay, hear me out. Harry was…well…hairy. He goes against every ideal of each of the other men, but the things he could do to make himself more attractive, he wasn’t against (even if it did result in a rash). He was smart and funny and attentive. And he didn’t even attempt to screw the braless nanny. He has a brain and standards that he stuck to (hello Jewish conversion), so he wasn’t a pushover. He didn’t change himself, but accommodated his wife. He went above and beyond to make Charlotte feel special, and was supportive in her worst moment of losing a baby. And he could make you laugh, and almost nothing feels better than that at the end of a long day.

He may not have Big’s mystery, or Smith’s looks, or Steve’s…well…(what the heck does Steve have?) whatever, but he was loyal. And there’s a lot to be said for loyalty. Besides, Charlotte said it was the best you-know-what of her life. Bonus.

 

…so why do the Big’s of the world get us every time? (lol)

What do you think? Who would you choose?

Love,

-V

Warning – Spoiler Alert – If you haven’t seen the movie, and you don’t want to know what happened, don’t read this and get mad at me! I’m not going into detail, but still…

So I’d been counting down.

I bought shoes.

I bought tickets.

I bought tickets again.

I forced myself not to look for spoilers…

…I looked for spoilers anyway.

And now I’ve seen it (twice) and can tell you:

…it was okay.

Now it will be great to me simply because it was Sex and the City. I love the girls, no matter how lame they managed to make Miranda in this sequel (I mean really? WTF?), I love the men, and I was orgasmic over the shoes. But overall, I thought it was okay. Now, on the first viewing, I think I suffered from a case of too high expectations, because I left a little perturbed (that could also have to do with the blowout I had leaving the movie theatre). When I went and saw it the next night with a different group of friends, it got better, and I realize I was looking for something that wasn’t there. So here we go!

Character who stayed truest to the original character: Big

Big is Big. His wants may have changed, but his basic principle is the same: I want to do what makes me happy. They did show his evolvement as far as compromise is concerned. He turned off the tv when she wanted. He went to the premiere (although kicking and screaming), but his thoughts were his thoughts, and he did not allow his opinions to be swayed. He was committed to his marriage, no matter what Carrie did. And even in the “two days off” conversation: that was still him trying to be himself, but please Carrie. I mean, I get it.

Character who changed most from the original character: Miranda

Let me just say this: the old Miranda would not have let another attorney shut her down for two years. The old Miranda would not have planned an agenda for an entire all expenses paid trip. The old Miranda would have never, EVER said “Abu Dhabi Doo!” Ever. If they were trying to show her dealing with quitting, I am almost positive it could have been done without making New York’s most popular pessimist a dork.

Samantha seemed to serve as comic relief throughout the whole movie as well; not quite sure how I felt about that.

Most “Car-Wreckish” Moment: Liza Minelli doing the Single Ladies routine: Wow. Just wow. A close second is Samantha joining in from the audience. But it was good car-wreckish…if there is such a thing.

Best Throwback to the TV Series: Is not Aidan. It’s the Dior newsprint dress. I loved that dress when she wore it originally to apologize to Natasha. That, and her looking down at Big when he surprised her…I loved it, “Just like that, it was 1998 again.”

Funniest Small Part: Charlotte’s “I don’t knows”, followed by her admission that she was drunk. I actually think it was tied with her other line, “I can’t lose the nanny!”

Weirdest “Bradshaw” moment: The hat Carrie wore for Stanford’s wedding, and the hat she wore on the plane to Abu Dhabi. Even my trendiest, edgiest dressing friend was like “What the @!&*, Carrie?”

My Personal Favorite “Just for the Record” moment: Aidan kissed Carrie. Carrie pulled away first. Just wanted to make sure everyone knew that. I’m thinking he might’ve been thinking about her since she saw him on her way to meet Jack Berger. And, he might’ve given her the business had she not stopped it. That is progression from the old Carrie.

Hottest Random Guy: Nicky, Anthony’s brother. I was going to give it to Richard Spurt, the guy who was jumping sand dunes, but he lost some of his luster when he wasn’t wearing his head wrap thing.

The “That ish would NEVER happen” moment:  When all the women of Abu Dhabi took off their burkas and had feather vests and whatnot on. Really?

The “How I Know the Girls aren’t Black” moment: Erin would’ve been fired, or at least removed, when her t-shirt got wet. Quickly. And with force if necessary.

Best Woman’s Moment: The shoutout to single mothers. That was a good touch…and the realization that every women in the theatre KNEW that tv from big was a horrible anniversary gift, lol.

Overall: It was okay. It will probably grow on me the more I watch it, but I know what was missing: there was never that heartfelt friend moment. You know, like in the original movie when they stopped her from hitting Big with roses, or when Samantha fed her to ensure she ate in Mexico. But, the shoes made it worth it.

Non-biased Score: B-

Real Score: A, simply because it is Sex and the City! They can do no wrong to me.

So, what did you think?

Love,

-V

Sex and the City 2 Poster

Carrie On.

There is one thing that you should know about me: I am a fanatic (clearly, since I started a blog based on my favorite show). I will sit on youtube watching what seems like hours of makeup tutorials. I watch commentaries of movies and shoes I like. I watch one Jay-Z (or T.I.) interview after another to find out any information that I didn’t already know. And…I’ve been planning my outfit for the Sex & the City 2 premiere for at least two months now. I have two pairs of shoes bought (also in consolation/celebration of being single), and I’m pretty sure that I shouldn’t buy anymore shoes for the rest of 2010.

First, I bought a pair of Manolo Blahniks. Now, in 2008, I was looking for a pair to go to the first movie, and got a giraffe skinned mule. But, when I was checking it’s validity on neimanmarcus.com, I came across this pair. I loved them, but they were not what I was looking for. I was actually looking for the Manolos that were black with an electric blue feather, but I decided they costed too much (to my chagrin, Sarah Jessica Parker had them on the cover of Vogue the month of the movie’s premiere, but in ivory). I saw these on the website and fell in love with them, because I knew I could wear them other than for the movie. Well…guess what I found on Ebay in my size???

Woo!

Oh, the happiness!
So now, I decide that I want to take it to the next level…after all, I’m going to see the movie here in Atlanta, and when I go home to Louisiana for Memorial Day. So…I came upon these beauties.
Christian Louboutin Chiffon Platforms

Christian Louboutin Chiffon Platforms

I’m in love.
 
And happy.
 
And with significantly less money than when I started shopping. I started to punk out of getting them (even though I kind of had the money), and all of my friends said “Girl, you don’t have a husband or any kids. I can’t make purchases like that without it being okay’d by a committee. Celebrate this moment, because you may not get it again. THIS, if nothing else, is one of the perks of being single.”
 
Believe it or not folks, I wasn’t making major purchases, because I thought this type of spending frivolous if one was saving for a wedding. 😐
 
Both pair now sit in my closet.
 
Happy SATC 2 to me 😉
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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