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I was reading my daily dose of Very Smart Brothas, and today’s post stuck out to me. It’s basically about why ugly men can give solid relationship advice (you should totally go read it; I love their writing style. I have literally laughed aloud on several occasions).

This stuck out to me because a friend and I were just having a conversation about attractiveness to some degree. Without going into too much detail, the summary of the convo was about how to him, attractiveness is a major, albeit shallow, necessity in any woman he plans to take seriously. For me, I can be in a relationship with someone and not be attracted to him. I’ve done it before. I wasn’t necessarily attracted to my ex when we met. Quoting a part of the aforementioned blog, it pretty much goes like this:

But there’s also that little tidbit that most women either refuse to acknowledge or refuse to believe that it could happen to them. The most marginal man can book a decent to above average woman as long as he’s *WHAT CLASS?*…

…funny.

And me? I’m thebomb.com/imawesome.

We’ve talked about this before, but all women need to keep them interested, generally, is a good laugh. Not saying she’s going to give up the cotton immediately, but if you make a woman laugh she’ll at least listen a little bit longer. A smart ugly man will hone his comedic sensibilities because that’s really all he has…his gift of gab. So let’s say a funny ugly dude has the gift of gab and manages to charm the pants off of women…or has money. This cat can rack up chicks. We’ve all seen it happen.

He has a point. Even my husband T.I. has been quoted saying “Two kinds of men will never have a problem getting women…bad boys and comedians.”

And even though it didn’t last, it even worked for Samantha. Remember Samantha and the short dude, the one who she was trying to figure out if he was just a short guy or a short person, and freaked out when his suit jacking said “Bloomingdale’s Boy’s Department” (Season 3, “Politically Erect”)? Yep, he made her giggle.

The point is this: attractiveness can vary based on situation. There was a guy I met once who was gorgeous on first meeting, and once he started talking, every possible facial flaw was accentuated. When I was in high school, I talked to this guy who looked like a moncheechee because on the phone, his personality shone through (I did, however, get surprised everytime I saw him. Okay, that was a no go once I made it to the third time I jumped on-sight, lol).

Does it happen all the time? No. Can it happen and be okay? Yes. The blog posts continues to say

I remember on the post that shall remain nameless how somebody said that my only real asset in life was my personality. But wow…what an asset. If I looked like Kid and was a douche, well yeah, I might be short in life. But I’m fun. And do you know what women like? Fun guys. And you know what happens to women who are around fun guys? They end up interested. Even accidentally. That coupled with women just being better people in general and more willing to take a shot on happiness as opposed to superficiality (in general) and you can end up with more women than you can shake your stick at.

A friend of mine reminds our circle of guy friends on an almost weekly basis to “date for your priorities, not just your preferences”. Sounds about accurate.

What say you? Can you give someone a chance who isn’t your “physical type” as a guy, or is that just a woman thing? Hope you’re having a great week! 🙂

Love,

–V

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"Somebody stop him! He took my strappy sandals!" --C. B.

There is a horrible feeling that accompanies being stolen from. It’s a mixture of fear, sadness, rage, general anger, and vulnerability (Fadnessangrageability? Whatever). It’s even worse when it seems like no one else is concerned.

Sometime last week, a student stole my iPod. It was in my desk drawer (in the corner of my room) while I was out helping with interviews for an open position in our school. Another professional was assigned to my room…yet, my goods are gone. What made it worse was that the stupid position couldn’t even be filled due to a deadline that had elapsed before we started interviewing. Talk about 38-hot! I didn’t realize the theft for a few days, because I thought maybe I had taken it home and misplaced it. It wasn’t confirmed until a student made a general mention of it. Grrrr……….

When Carrie’s famous, or infamous, experience with a robbery happened in Season 3’s “What Goes Around Comes Around”, the most memorable part for me besides the line itself was that when she expressed her outrage to a room of people, they continued on with their daily activities without batting an eyelash. None of the employees or customers of that nail place cared, and it wasn’t until her friend arrived that she got any type of support.

When my iPod was stolen, I was more than irritated. I was upset that I didn’t even have to be out of the room, and upset that everyone in authority over me seemed to have a “Really? Wow…that sucks,” type of attitude. It wasn’t until a friend, who happens to be the officer in the building was informed that things began to happen. What was even worse was that a student saw, but will not tell because he said “It breaks the code, and I ain’t no snitch!” #poppycock

Have you been stolen from? How did you feel? What did you do?

I tells ya, it was a rough week or so. Sorry for being so gone, but as you can see…this has been some foolishness. Yay for spring break though. It feels great to be home 🙂

Love,

–V

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