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One of the things that I love about Sex and the City is the wittiness of the dialogue. I loved how many allusions there were to literature, how the shows were themed…all of it. That is the part of the show that initially drew me in – well…that and the shoes. To me, this is what was missing from the second movie (I think. I’m going to watch it again tonight to ensure I know what happened. I disliked it so much at first watching that I bought it and never watched it again. The dialogue that I can recall was so corny that I got annoyed)…the conversations. One episode that has a huge focus on that dialogue is the Season 5 premiere, “Anchors Away”. When Carrie suggested Brady might be anorexic because he wouldn’t latch on during breastfeeding? Loved it. Creating New York as a dysfunctional boyfriend? Great imagery.

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I was ecstatic yesterday when I had to opportunity to be all witty and whatnot during the most random conversation. Let me just say this: yesterday was a day of Randomness. I got compliment bombed as I walked to my car from lunch yesterday. A guy yelled “NICE LEGS!” and waved from his truck. (No…thank YOU random citizen!) But the most random one happened as I was trying to find the best popcorn on earth in Kroger.

As I walked through the store, searching on the popcorn aisle for popcorn (silly me) and not finding it. A group of male employees at the meat station started making comments to which most non-ratchet women wouldn’t acknowledge or respond. Finally, one of the guys said, “Can I help you find something?” I then turned and said “No, I’m okay.” The second guy said, “It don’t make no d*mn sense for you to look that good.” I did a polite smile and kept walking. The first guy said, “What are you looking for?” I said “This popcorn…” The second guy said, “Is it good?” I said, “Yes…it’s the best popcorn in America…possibly the world.” He said, “Dang…that good? I want to try it.” I said, “If it’s in here, I’ll let you know what it’s called.” He said, “But I want to try it…not here, but at your house later.” I said, “Ummmm……..inappropriate must be half off with your Kroger card.”

About 10 minutes later, I felt the sweet euphoria of having the great comeback. The witty response. That awesome repartee. That was a great response! Yes…I’m a dork. I know…I’m okay with it, but I was seriously thinking, “SWEET!” once it came out of my mouth, lol.

You ever have an experience where you had an awesome comeback that didn’t “occur to you to say” like…..3 hours later? What was it? I wanna know. Sharing is caring. I have another one where I almost effectively quoted an entire chorus from Bobby Brown’s “My Prerogative” without her knowing it, and was giving good advice too. Oh yeah…that one was awesome. Anyway, please…share.

Love,

-V

On last Thursday (not yesterday), I went to a Ru Sans for lunch because I wanted Asian food. I didn’t know that they did a buffet, so I got the fried rice I wanted, broccoli, and an endless supply of sushi…my Nook and I were ready for a pretty nice afternoon. I took a small booth near the door, and prepared to read and eat.

There was a couple sitting to my side and a bit behind me. Because of our close proximity, I could make out their conversation, but I was trying to be engrossed in my book. However, there was a strand of dialogue that perked my ears, “He just doesn’t get me.”

Maybe it was the tone of her voice that made it stand out. Maybe it was the “he” pronoun when she was already there with a guy. It kind of made me chuckle like, “Someone is about to get broken up with.” His response was, “I completely understand. I’ve felt alone with her for the past two months.” My reaction turned from the chuckle to an “uh-oh….” I listened to them hash out their earnest complaints and desires about the person to whom they were committed. He played video games with a headset on for hours while ignoring the flesh and blood person sitting in his living room. She didn’t make the effort to give him to type of love he wants. And right when I was about to be lost in my book again, I heard her say “husband”.

My immediate thought was, “Molly…..you in danger, girl.” Unbeknownst, or maybe even beknownst (can you be beknownst? How can you just add random prefixes to words that don’t stand alone? Sorry…anyway……) to her, she was setting herself up for an affair. This communal gripe session was giving root to the allowance of those feelings being watered elsewhere. I wondered if they could see it coming. I wondered if they prepared for it in advance. I wondered if they had made the decision to cheat.

samanthaRichardAtlanticCityIt makes me think of Carrie and Aidan, the second go round in Season 4 (“Time and Punishment”). Or Samantha and Richard’s round 2 in Season 5 in Atlantic City (“Luck Be an Old Lady”). Or Charlotte, Harry, and the nanny in the Sex and City 2 movie. All of these were differing levels of the possibility of infidelity, and at some point, someone saw it coming. Notice I didn’tnanny mention the Carrie/Aidan/Big fiasco of Season 3. Big may have known his intentions, but for all intents and purposes, Carrie was a bit caught off guard. She tried her best to avoid him until she got thrown up against an elevator wall, lol. When Aidan was annoyed that Big was still around, he started hanging out with the female bartender (who obviously knew about her) and got very close to the “inappropriate” line. Samantha and Richard might’ve been a self-fulfilling prophecy because Samantha couldn’t let go of his past indiscretion, and was just waiting for it to happen again by side-eyeing every waitress and cleaning girl. Charlotte never considered the possibility that Harry would step out on her because she trusted him (still my favorite couple!), until her friends planted the idea, and then it was all she could see.

My point is this: at some point there is a moment of recognition and a moment of escape. Carrie called Aidan out on it so they could have the actual forgiveness conversation; Samantha cut her losses before that shoe hit the ground; and Charlotte…well she over-analyzed it while in Abu Dhabi but ultimately trusted her husband because the root of her issue didn’t stem from him, but from her friends warning her about the “Jude Law” (at least I think so. I didn’t like the second movie, so I didn’t watch it as much. I totally hope that’s what happened).

I remember being saddened once I found out she was married…that girl in the restaurant. I was discussing this with two of my closest friends, and decided that I wanted to warn her in some way. I wanted her to not become what she would despise. I was writing it on a napkin…”be careful.” I turned around to see how to give it to her, and they were gone. Who knows where. I hope they were going to have these conversations with someone else…their significant others (hopefully)… counselors… Iyanla… somebody! I didn’t want those two friends talk to give way to action that was not-so-friendly.

But I will tell you what I learned from the show and this situation – a lesson from each.

  1. Call it like you see it…you might even get some true forgiveness out of it.
  2. Know when to hold ’em, and know when to fold ’em. (this is not about towels)
  3. You should probably only trust details of your relationship to people who care as much about IT prospering as you do. This is different from people who care about you. Those can be opposites.

So what would you do if faced with the same situation, in any perspective? I’m curious. Let me know.

Love,

-V

First things first…I’ll let you guys know that I had an awesome Valentine’s Day. Thanks for the wishes I received! I was very much so impressed…he did good 🙂

Now, this blog was inspired by my best friend who has had nuggets for the past few days that I have kept me doubled-over in laughter. We were having a conversation about my sister and the subject of romantic possibilities came up. I said, “There are obviously people interested in her, but to me they’re a bit lame.” Her response?

“Of course they’re lame! Your sister is like awesome…a complete package. People with their stuff together think out the details before they approach someone. All these dorks are going to be like, ‘wooooooo! Let me try to get on it and upgrade myself!’ Bring on the idiots!”

After I stopped crying, I got to thinking…where do the lames get their confidence? And even more so, what would happen if we attempt to change them?

Now, let me clarify. I’m considering lame to be something that is unattractive to 95% of the datable world, i.e. bad breath, braids when you are balding, illiterate and proud, sweaters tucked into white socks with black dress shoes and high waters, etc… I am not talking about idiosyncracies that might not be my style (like being a Gucci Mane fan), but would be good to a whole slew of other people.

VerySmartBrothas, a favorite blog of mine, had a post today about being interested in folks who aren’t interested in you. This reminded me of Season 1, “The Turtle and the Hare”, when Samantha was continually approached by “The Turtle” (I want to say his name was Danny Turtletop, but I could be wrong) for a date. Samantha began seeing some guy who walks away from her mid-date because he saw someone else who caught his eye. When Samantha was about to leave seeing as her ego had taken a crushing blow, The Turtle gives her the affection she needed in that moment. She decides she’ll make him a guy she wants to be with instead of pining away for the guy who rejected her. (Yeah…Samantha doesn’t pine. Whatever.)

Now see, The Turtle had a few issues: he was balding (not an issue to me, but it was mentioned quite often by the ladies on the show in reference to men), had weird conversation and habits (trying to figure out the exact ingredients of dinner dishes), and above all? His breath stank. Reeked. Badly. He had horrible pick up lines (“Do you like this shirt? My…ex-girlfriend picked it out.”), and seemed to be just generally awkward. When Samantha mentioned his herb-induced stank breath, he just made a joke after his explanation, and kept it moving. He didn’t have any pretension, and she liked that about him. So after a shopping spree and a facial…viola! A (sorta) new man.

Carrie couldn’t believe it! Why would her friend subject herself to such a man? Was it shallow of Carrie? Was it mean of Samantha not to accept him how he was? The thing is, first impressions can be deceiving. Not judging a book by its cover and whatnot. However, no matter the cover of the book, you can’t change the pages. The Turtle was still himself…awkward and slightly weird, and eventually it never worked for Samantha. I know plenty of people who will try to change a won’t to a will. It has never worked for them.

There has been a time or four where a guy (or girl for the fellas) has been interested, and you couldn’t fathom it. How do you handle this? Do you give it a go? Do you stand firmly on your no? (Hey, I rhymed. Double points.) Do you use it as an experiment? For me, I’ll befriend anyone who I genuinely like as a person (cute or not, if I don’t mesh with you, I won’t stand around to see if I do), but that doesn’t mean it’ll go romantic. But if it just becomes weird and uncomfortable, I’ll just distance myself.  What about you?

Love,

-V

P.S. The word tortoise looks like it is always spelled wrong. For some reason I want it to have a U in it, lol.

P.P.S. No shade to anyone who has bad breath, braids when you are balding, illiterate and proud, sweaters tucked into white socks with black dress shoes and high waters. You need love too. And I’d still like to know where that confidence comes from, lol

I hate* my friends.

Heart to Heart...

They consistently try to point out logic and truth when I don’t want to hear it. I was talking to one of my friends about my timidity of trusting someone and stepping out into relational waters again. She said, “Like, real talk? Not about him, or about your ex, because you haven’t said anything negative about him since the new year, but you have been throwing major shade at yourself. You are letting someone’s past actions dictate how you act, even if it is ‘in spite of.’ You are responding to him in defense of what you think he’ll do, and you need to remember that he is not your ex. You can’t treat him like he is, or like he will be. You have to let him be him, and take it how it goes. I’m not saying don’t be cautious, but don’t do this.”

*crickets* 😳

I gave the only response that I could give in that moment….

…”No, YOU stupid.”

We both cracked up. I acknowledged what she said, but thought about it on the car ride home. How much credit do we give our past in how we go about our present? I hate the idea that my past relationship can have that much power over the things I do right now. Who is really running these decisions that I make?

Another friend of mine called me a cold freezer today. He said I either have some hellified defense mechanisms, or I really don’t care. I believe it is the former. Only your friends can tell you those things about yourself that you don’t really want to hear. Or acknowledge. They can call into question your actions that you don’t want to analyze for yourself. They can make you view it so even if you decide to keep doing what you’re doing, you’re doing it consciously. Doesn’t that suck? Miranda did it for Charlotte in SATC 2: the movie. She forced her to admit that motherhood is not always nice, fun, or wanted. Only then could she really say what she wanted or needed, and stop running herself crazy or being resentful.

The ending of my last relationship blindsided me. In hindsight it should not have, but in the moment, it did. I keep wondering if I will walk into another head-on collision unprepared, so I’m checking every nook and cranny for possible signs. My friend said if I continue to do that, it in and of itself will cause the accident I was looking for. (She didn’t state it in this manner, but you know, implications and whatnot.) So I can admit this: I’m scared.

*sigh* 😕

Can’t you see why I hate* my friends? I just can’t right now. Goodnight 🙂

Love,

–V

* hate here means desperately thankful for even if I don’t admit it in the moment. This definition stops at the culmination of this post, and is only active within the confines of the post itself.

Men of Sex & the City

There is something to be said about the men of Sex and the City. Every woman at one time or another has had a run-in with her Mr. Big.  Or saw someone as sexy as Smith (whose original name was Jerry), and knew he had potential. Or met someone as charming as Steve. Or found yourself attracted to someone who you were not attracted to at first.

It got me to thinking, after watching this second installment of the Sex and the City movie (and after seeing it a third time, it is getting better for me), which of the men would I want. Not actually the man himself, but the ideal. You know who I chose?

Okay, hear me out. Harry was…well…hairy. He goes against every ideal of each of the other men, but the things he could do to make himself more attractive, he wasn’t against (even if it did result in a rash). He was smart and funny and attentive. And he didn’t even attempt to screw the braless nanny. He has a brain and standards that he stuck to (hello Jewish conversion), so he wasn’t a pushover. He didn’t change himself, but accommodated his wife. He went above and beyond to make Charlotte feel special, and was supportive in her worst moment of losing a baby. And he could make you laugh, and almost nothing feels better than that at the end of a long day.

He may not have Big’s mystery, or Smith’s looks, or Steve’s…well…(what the heck does Steve have?) whatever, but he was loyal. And there’s a lot to be said for loyalty. Besides, Charlotte said it was the best you-know-what of her life. Bonus.

 

…so why do the Big’s of the world get us every time? (lol)

What do you think? Who would you choose?

Love,

-V

Warning – Spoiler Alert – If you haven’t seen the movie, and you don’t want to know what happened, don’t read this and get mad at me! I’m not going into detail, but still…

So I’d been counting down.

I bought shoes.

I bought tickets.

I bought tickets again.

I forced myself not to look for spoilers…

…I looked for spoilers anyway.

And now I’ve seen it (twice) and can tell you:

…it was okay.

Now it will be great to me simply because it was Sex and the City. I love the girls, no matter how lame they managed to make Miranda in this sequel (I mean really? WTF?), I love the men, and I was orgasmic over the shoes. But overall, I thought it was okay. Now, on the first viewing, I think I suffered from a case of too high expectations, because I left a little perturbed (that could also have to do with the blowout I had leaving the movie theatre). When I went and saw it the next night with a different group of friends, it got better, and I realize I was looking for something that wasn’t there. So here we go!

Character who stayed truest to the original character: Big

Big is Big. His wants may have changed, but his basic principle is the same: I want to do what makes me happy. They did show his evolvement as far as compromise is concerned. He turned off the tv when she wanted. He went to the premiere (although kicking and screaming), but his thoughts were his thoughts, and he did not allow his opinions to be swayed. He was committed to his marriage, no matter what Carrie did. And even in the “two days off” conversation: that was still him trying to be himself, but please Carrie. I mean, I get it.

Character who changed most from the original character: Miranda

Let me just say this: the old Miranda would not have let another attorney shut her down for two years. The old Miranda would not have planned an agenda for an entire all expenses paid trip. The old Miranda would have never, EVER said “Abu Dhabi Doo!” Ever. If they were trying to show her dealing with quitting, I am almost positive it could have been done without making New York’s most popular pessimist a dork.

Samantha seemed to serve as comic relief throughout the whole movie as well; not quite sure how I felt about that.

Most “Car-Wreckish” Moment: Liza Minelli doing the Single Ladies routine: Wow. Just wow. A close second is Samantha joining in from the audience. But it was good car-wreckish…if there is such a thing.

Best Throwback to the TV Series: Is not Aidan. It’s the Dior newsprint dress. I loved that dress when she wore it originally to apologize to Natasha. That, and her looking down at Big when he surprised her…I loved it, “Just like that, it was 1998 again.”

Funniest Small Part: Charlotte’s “I don’t knows”, followed by her admission that she was drunk. I actually think it was tied with her other line, “I can’t lose the nanny!”

Weirdest “Bradshaw” moment: The hat Carrie wore for Stanford’s wedding, and the hat she wore on the plane to Abu Dhabi. Even my trendiest, edgiest dressing friend was like “What the @!&*, Carrie?”

My Personal Favorite “Just for the Record” moment: Aidan kissed Carrie. Carrie pulled away first. Just wanted to make sure everyone knew that. I’m thinking he might’ve been thinking about her since she saw him on her way to meet Jack Berger. And, he might’ve given her the business had she not stopped it. That is progression from the old Carrie.

Hottest Random Guy: Nicky, Anthony’s brother. I was going to give it to Richard Spurt, the guy who was jumping sand dunes, but he lost some of his luster when he wasn’t wearing his head wrap thing.

The “That ish would NEVER happen” moment:  When all the women of Abu Dhabi took off their burkas and had feather vests and whatnot on. Really?

The “How I Know the Girls aren’t Black” moment: Erin would’ve been fired, or at least removed, when her t-shirt got wet. Quickly. And with force if necessary.

Best Woman’s Moment: The shoutout to single mothers. That was a good touch…and the realization that every women in the theatre KNEW that tv from big was a horrible anniversary gift, lol.

Overall: It was okay. It will probably grow on me the more I watch it, but I know what was missing: there was never that heartfelt friend moment. You know, like in the original movie when they stopped her from hitting Big with roses, or when Samantha fed her to ensure she ate in Mexico. But, the shoes made it worth it.

Non-biased Score: B-

Real Score: A, simply because it is Sex and the City! They can do no wrong to me.

So, what did you think?

Love,

-V

Sex and the City 2 Poster

Carrie On.

There is one thing that you should know about me: I am a fanatic (clearly, since I started a blog based on my favorite show). I will sit on youtube watching what seems like hours of makeup tutorials. I watch commentaries of movies and shoes I like. I watch one Jay-Z (or T.I.) interview after another to find out any information that I didn’t already know. And…I’ve been planning my outfit for the Sex & the City 2 premiere for at least two months now. I have two pairs of shoes bought (also in consolation/celebration of being single), and I’m pretty sure that I shouldn’t buy anymore shoes for the rest of 2010.

First, I bought a pair of Manolo Blahniks. Now, in 2008, I was looking for a pair to go to the first movie, and got a giraffe skinned mule. But, when I was checking it’s validity on neimanmarcus.com, I came across this pair. I loved them, but they were not what I was looking for. I was actually looking for the Manolos that were black with an electric blue feather, but I decided they costed too much (to my chagrin, Sarah Jessica Parker had them on the cover of Vogue the month of the movie’s premiere, but in ivory). I saw these on the website and fell in love with them, because I knew I could wear them other than for the movie. Well…guess what I found on Ebay in my size???

Woo!

Oh, the happiness!
So now, I decide that I want to take it to the next level…after all, I’m going to see the movie here in Atlanta, and when I go home to Louisiana for Memorial Day. So…I came upon these beauties.
Christian Louboutin Chiffon Platforms

Christian Louboutin Chiffon Platforms

I’m in love.
 
And happy.
 
And with significantly less money than when I started shopping. I started to punk out of getting them (even though I kind of had the money), and all of my friends said “Girl, you don’t have a husband or any kids. I can’t make purchases like that without it being okay’d by a committee. Celebrate this moment, because you may not get it again. THIS, if nothing else, is one of the perks of being single.”
 
Believe it or not folks, I wasn’t making major purchases, because I thought this type of spending frivolous if one was saving for a wedding. 😐
 
Both pair now sit in my closet.
 
Happy SATC 2 to me 😉
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

My boyfriend of five years and I just broke up for good this morning…

No details here, but I will tell you that the only thing that has stopped my tears, even if just for a moment, is this:

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