DISCLAIMER: Anyone that I have ever dated, please don’t take this personally if/when you read this. It isn’t personal…I’m actually trying to be objective. I’m not sure that I am saying anything offensive, but if I am, that isn’t the intent. K? Thanks. –mgmt.

There must be "closed-offedness" coming from the heels or the hair...

I have found that I attract a certain type of guy. They are very different fundamentally, but they generally have a small set of things in common. My common core, if you will. They aren’t physical attributes, but skill/talent attributes.

They are funny, are skilled with the written word, and know how to run game because they claim to be are reformed hos.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that every guy I’ve dealt with has run game on me (I’m not NOT saying that either…just to be clear); I’m simply saying that the ability for him to do so was present in his skill set. I have never been able to be with someone who could not make me laugh. As an English teacher, I obviously am fond of language. But, this running game thing is different. I’m realizing that it is a weird mix of the previous two; a hybrid of a comedian and a wordsmith.

Carrie was similar. Every guy she saw herself with for real was closed to her in someway. The only person who wasn’t was Aidan, and look how well that worked out. Big was closed with his feelings, Berger was closed with his masculinity, and Petrovsky was closed with his ideas and ability to compromise. It is obvious that Carrie loved “The Chase” which she even referenced while dating Aidan and why she felt so uncomfortable. She said, “No, it’s just, well, it’s just, it feels odd. You know, I’m used to the hunt, and this is effortless. It’s, just, it’s freaking me out” (Season 3, “Drama Queens”). So, it’s obvious what her issues her.

What the heck are mine? What about me is attracting game runners? I’m a very direct person, so I’m not engaging in verbal wrestling. I don’t have a vast relationship past or history. What is it??

Do you have a type that seems to gravitate your way?

I hope you’ve been doing well in the past month. My birthday is this Saturday coming up, so I am excited that my family is coming to visit!

Love,

–V

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In case you were wondering, I did not NOT make it back from Europe. I made it without much fanfare. I was really prepared for customs, and it was a total let-down, lol! No searching through my underwear to see if I had fruit or meat…no nothing!

Anyway, a lot of things have been happening, but oddly, I haven’t wanted to write on them. One main reason is that for me to accurately portray them, it would mean sharing more of my personal life than I feel comfortable. For any writer out there, you know that you write from the heart and what you know. I know a lot, and there’s a lot in my heart……….I’m just not too sure it needs to be on the web.

I have also just been enjoying the rest of my summer break. I hope your summers have been going well, and I’m going to get back on the ball before the beginning of next week. I have a few ideas lined up.

Love,

–V

Paris, to me, ended my trip.

Anything else I do while I’m overseas is just killing time waiting for the plane.

It was remarkable. Beautiful. Everything I hoped. Just not the ending I expected.

It ended with tears and not because my loved one accidentally hit me (Season 6 – Part 2, “An American Girl in Paris – deux”). Or, maybe it did. I was romantic and giddy. I have dreamed of seeing Paris only second to Rome. I had enthusiastically visited every museum that my cousin wanted to see, taking time to take it in. When we got to Paris, she just kept saying, “I don’t care. This is your part. Do whatever.” It made me feel like I needed to rush “my part” as to not make her uncomfortable. It was a let down, in a sense. I felt that what I had built up had been dismissed in a mere 48 hours. It seemed that she never got excited about anything. This was compounded by the fact that Paris got moved to the very end of the trip, so my euros weren’t making cents. So yes, there were tears in the Hard Rock Cafe (Don’t judge me. The menu was in English.) 

Anyway, this got me thinking about how often we can be in places foreign to us, and someone else’s attitude takes it from excitement to despair. Carrie was excited in Paris until she realized that all of Petrovsky’s want for her to be present didn’t measure up in reality. She felt alone in a city where she wasn’t understood (literally and figuratively). Now, I know my cousin didn’t mean to hurt my feelings, but it doesn’t change the fact that it dampered my mood.

What about you? Have you ever had an experience where someone else ruined how you wanted something to go? I tell you what, I don’t know if or when I’ll get to come to Paris again, so I didn’t let it get me too down. Here are some pics I took (I’m trying to step my photography game up).

  

An American Girl in Paris...

Yep. There I am. 🙂

I hope you’re doing well.

Love,

–V

I like Beyonce. I’m not a stan (kinda) and I’m not a hater. I think she’s beautiful; I believe she can sing; her shoe game is crazy. I like her style generally speaking.

But I have hated disliked every first single she ever put out. I promise I have. I could not get it. I thought they sounded erratic and weird. There were random instruments and basic lyrics.

And then I see the videoperformancewhatever. And I’m hooked (well, except Deja Vu…I still don’t like that one.) Crazy in Love…that walk in the red heels was killer (to me). Deja Vu…well, Deja Vu sucked. But Single Ladies went viral. And now, I can’t stop doing that stupid shoulder shake randomly. The conclusion is that Beyonce has some visionary who can see through the erratic whatever of each first single and can create something wonderful (at least to some/most/a few).

That is exactly how I feel about Candace Bushnell.

She has golden ideas, but I can’t stand her writing. Usually, when story is good to me I can hear the voices without having to create them. Everyone sounds monotone and sort of whiny when I read any book by her.  I read “Sex and the City”, “Lipstick Jungle”, “Trading Up”, and now “The Carrie Diaries”. Someone reads her work and makes it great when it moves to television. I’m not simply talking about the story but rather the voice of the characters. I know it can happen well…I loved both the book and movie versions of  “Something Borrowed”. So with that being said, here is my review of “The Carrie Diaries”. WARNING: This will contain spoilers, so if you’re planning on reading it, stop now.

Travel Reading

When I got ready to come to Europe, (It’s 12:43am here, so this must’ve been pressing to get out, lol) I brough this book with me. I’ve owned it for a while, but I wanted to save it for this trip. Maybe I had a vision of me sitting at a cafe in Italy or France, drinking a cappucino while I read it. Not sure, but whatever the case was, it has been sitting on my bookshelf for over 3 months. I cracked it open a day ago, and finished it today. Let’s get out the semantics.

 
Differences that I caught between the book and the tv series or movie(s):
  1. 1. Carrie’s mother has died in the book and her father is raising she and her two sisters. When Carrie worked at, and was deciding to quit, Vogue (Season 4, ” Vogue Idea”), she told the male editor Julian that her father “quit her and her mother” (I believe she said she was 5 at the time). It lead to her line of questioning that she possibly writes questions about men because her father left without answers. Additionally, Carrie was the oldest of the siblings in the book, so I doubt that her character on SATC would’ve had sisters. At least it was not mentioned to my recollection.
  2. Sex and the City 2 says the Samantha and Carrie met when Samantha was bartending at CBGB’s. In the book, Samantha was the cousin of her high school nemesis turned unlikely friend, Donna LaDonna. Carrie was accepted to a writing program in New York the summer before going to Brown University, and was robbed immediately after getting off the train. The only thing she had was her journal that the cousin’s number was written it, and the book ended with her calling that number, and saying, “Hello? Samantha Jones?” (I actually really liked that part. The end of the book was the most realistic to me.)
  3. Carrie was a virgin throughout high school in the book. In the series, she lost her virginity in the eleventh grade to Seth Bateman on the ping-pong table in the rec room(“half a joint…three thrusts…finito.” Season 3, “The Big Time”).
  4. According to Wikipedia, “Carrie arrived in Manhattan on Tuesday, June 11, 1986 when she was approximately 21 years old, given her age that is mentioned at other points in the series”. In the book, Carrie is 18 when she comes to New York.
  5. Jeremy, played by David Duchovny, is mentioned as being one of Carrie’s high school boyfriends (Season 6, “Boy Interrupted”). In the book, she has two other mentioned boyfriends before Sebastian (and technically, George). A boy she found attractive but thought was stupid, and another boy she just didn’t really like; both of their names escape me, but their was named Jeremy.

That’s all I can remember. Now, on to the Alignments (or just my reasoning):

  1. One of Carrie’s closest friends in high school, Walt, was gay. He came out after breaking up with her friend. She followed him and found him kissing an ex-football player from their high school. That may explain her closeness and non-judgmentalness with Stanford Blatch.
  2. Carrie smoked in high school.
  3. Carrie made weird fashion choices that probably lended itself to her NY style later on in the series – go-go boots for the first day of Senior Year; red patent leather shoes in elementary school (which initially caused Donna LaDonna to hate her for thinking she was “special”).
  4. Carrie has had a Big/Aidan-esque conundrum for a while. She turned down George, a respectable Brown University student who was interested in her for Sebastian Kydd…a yellow Corvette driving elusive who habitually jumped women. She pretended not to know things so that he could explain it to her; she wanted his acceptance and elusive love…just like Big.
  5. She had a quick wit and asked lots of questions…and of course,
  6. She was a writer, but didn’t find her voice until a few people angered her. It’s probably what got her the column and the New York Star.

Other Random Things about Carrie Bradshaw based on the book:

  1. She was on the swim team.
  2. She was good at math
  3. Her father expected her to be an engineer.
  4. Her “best friend” stole her boyfriend, who then cheated on the “best friend” with the best friend’s little sister.

 Other than what I’ve listed here, the book isn’t very memorable. I finished it less than 3 hours ago, and I’m drawing a blank. The story shifted between Carrie’s drama with her friends to drama with herself to other girls hating her to finding her voice to grief of losing her mother to random acts of vandalism/high schooly things with alcohol (and nobody in any bar ever carding anyone) to smoking weed. It seemed to be completely disjointed and mildly predictable in some storylines.

Where are you Michael Patrick King? I bet you’ll make this an awesome mini-series for ABC Family. Honestly, for a tween or teenager who read the book, it was probably good. There are good messages (Carrie is the only one who waited to have sex and was okay with it…sorta), and some mixed ones (I mean…EVERYBODY in this book got drunk and high at some point), but nothing today’s teenagers aren’t getting an earful of walking the hallways at their local public schools. But if you’re  fan of the show and wanted to read the book just because, it may just annoy you.

Did you read it? What did you think? If you don’t agree with me, I’d love to know why. Other reviews have been positive, so maybe her writing just isn’t my style. Maybe you’ll see something I didn’t and make it better for me. If you loved it, what were your favorite parts?

So, tomorrow I return to Germany from Italy. It’s beautiful and I’ll miss it…especially the Gelato.

Ciao,

–V 😉

…or at least they will be soon. See you back on this side of the pond. 😀

Love,

–V

Remember this post about things to do in a year? I wrote it exactly one year ago…

I’ve done, or am immediately about to do, all of it.

I’ve bought Louboutins…I’m exceptionally more active at church. I’ve been on a roadtrip with my friends(Panama City Beach) and done something I was afraid of (parasailing and jet-skiing). I’m about to leave the country (Germany, with trips to Paris, Venice, Munich, Pisa, and possibly Barcelona…woo-hoo!!), and I figure I get a 5 day window for it to count in the year :), so I’m in on that one.  I’ve bought several hot dresses and worn them. I’ve started chronicling for my book. I sang karaoke…once when I went on the cruise, and once when I got back to Atlanta. I’ve cultivated a relationship and several friendships, and while I haven’t been to the gun range, I have the groupon for it. It’s on deck for when I get back to the States. Not bad…not too bad at all. The only thing I haven’t dedicated lots of time to was going after a personal dream, at least not with make-up. But, I love teaching. I’m great at it…and I’m called to do it. And my mentee graduated from high school this year, and he thanked me immediately after crossing the stage. If that isn’t a personal dream, I’m not sure what is.

Thank you for chronicling with me. I’m exceptionally excited about the things I’ve done and the things I’ve opened myself up to do. So once I return, it may be time for a new list. I’m excited about traveling to Europe, and I have one major goal. Not to get kidnapped. And apparently to avoid gypsies…everyone has warned me about that. I don’t wanna have to fight nobody, lol.

So with all that said and done, not a bad 365 days. Clap for ’em.

 Any suggestions for Europe from any international travelers? Any places that I just have to visit? Or eat? My cousin and I are geared up, and we’re ready to roll!

So let me say goodbye in all the languages I’ll encounter while on vacation…

Bye ~ Au Revoir ~ Auf Wiedersehen ~ Ciao

See you when I return (unless I get to update in Paris…that would rock)! Love,

–V 🙂

P.S. We’re stopping in Milan…oh the shoes…

"She can reach me, but I can't get her..."

Lately, (and by lately I mean the past month of so) I feel like I have been in a certain episode of Sex and the City, “Belles of the Balls” (I   have also felt like I was in Lean on Me, but that’s another post for another blog. Oh well, Summer vacation started at 2:31pm. YESSSSS…..). Every guy I know, or every girl who is in a relationship, has been discussing emotions. More specifically, the discussion has been on guys’ emotions. What is making the Y-chromosome ooze with sensitivity these days?

Carrie (Season 4) experienced this when Aidan felt “some kinda way” when Big called her late at night to discuss his movie star girlfriend, and even more so once Big’s heart was so broken that he felt it necessary to drive to Suffern, NY just to talk to Carrie about it. Aidan compared Big to Batman, and himself to the Green Lantern, just to deal. Obviously, a battle of the balls egos ensued. Miranda was dealing with Steve’s dodging the testicular cancer bullet, only to be sidelined because he felt uncomfortable having a single scrotum. He wanted to go as far as to have a implant testicle, until the doctor revealed that it hadn’t been cleared. My favorite Miranda line after Steve said it should be safe? “That what they said about the Ford…You want a Pinto near your penis?” I guess that visual made him re-think, lol. Charlotte’s issues dealt with Trey’s ED, while Samantha’s dealt with injustice in hiring because of her activities as a female. Just shenanigans all around.

The more specific real-life example is about recovery time. Recovery time is the time it takes a person who is mid-fight in a relationship to pull it together in front of others. The females (and I) think that if “real life” comes calling, we have to suck it up and deal with business. Every single guy was like “Aw hell naw! You not gonna be mad at me, and then laugh and joke with others. If you mad, you better stay mad the whole time.”

That was astounding. Women generally felt like the major factor was that if business has to be handled, it is not anyone else’s business what is going on in the relationship. Men said that it seems like if we have too quick of a recovery time, it may indicate a lack of caring in general…not just about the situation or fight, but about him. Even my boyfriend agreed. (Yep, I have one…:) ) I even distinctly remember that being a concern with all of the women at work about how if they show an inkling of emotion at work, they are ridiculed for it. Remember that? “Ooh be careful, don’t make Charlotte cry!”

Wow.

It is still something I can’t quite grasp. Guys, do you feel this way? Ladies, are you with them on this? I’d like to know.

Here’s some music while you think it out…lol

Love,

–V

P.S. I’m going on vacation soon…I’m too excited about it!

Who is Jasmine you say? Jasmine is my neighbor. I have never officially met her, but I know her name. Do you know why?

Because every Monday, Thursday, and Saturday, Jasmine and Jasmine’s guy friend get. it. in.

I am slightly concerned that I don’t know his name, according to Trey Songz, but that is neither here nor there. The issue is that Jasmine is waking me up on a regular basis. He is yelling, so my guess is that she must know how to do the Lynn-Spin or something.

Anyway…all I want is a decent 6-8 hours without looking for my earmuffs. Is that too much to ask? Now I know how Carrie felt at Anthony and Stanford’s wedding with Samantha next door.

Geez.......

How would you handle this? A bang on the wall (doesn’t work)? Visit? A post-it that says, “I’m sorry. I can’t. Don’t hate me.”? Smh…

Love,

–V

I know it’s been awhile, but trust me, I wish it hadn’t been. I still don’t have time to write…so I’ll do a quick update via pictures. Remember when Miranda was trying to make partner? Yeah, it’s like that…except no partnership. That blows.

That about sums it up. I miss writing…I’m going to write a real update by the end of the week. I have so much material!!

I hope your days are less busy, unless it’s in a good way!

Love,

–V

P.S. And yes…I got my superheroine shoes! *giddy*

I was reading my daily dose of Very Smart Brothas, and today’s post stuck out to me. It’s basically about why ugly men can give solid relationship advice (you should totally go read it; I love their writing style. I have literally laughed aloud on several occasions).

This stuck out to me because a friend and I were just having a conversation about attractiveness to some degree. Without going into too much detail, the summary of the convo was about how to him, attractiveness is a major, albeit shallow, necessity in any woman he plans to take seriously. For me, I can be in a relationship with someone and not be attracted to him. I’ve done it before. I wasn’t necessarily attracted to my ex when we met. Quoting a part of the aforementioned blog, it pretty much goes like this:

But there’s also that little tidbit that most women either refuse to acknowledge or refuse to believe that it could happen to them. The most marginal man can book a decent to above average woman as long as he’s *WHAT CLASS?*…

…funny.

And me? I’m thebomb.com/imawesome.

We’ve talked about this before, but all women need to keep them interested, generally, is a good laugh. Not saying she’s going to give up the cotton immediately, but if you make a woman laugh she’ll at least listen a little bit longer. A smart ugly man will hone his comedic sensibilities because that’s really all he has…his gift of gab. So let’s say a funny ugly dude has the gift of gab and manages to charm the pants off of women…or has money. This cat can rack up chicks. We’ve all seen it happen.

He has a point. Even my husband T.I. has been quoted saying “Two kinds of men will never have a problem getting women…bad boys and comedians.”

And even though it didn’t last, it even worked for Samantha. Remember Samantha and the short dude, the one who she was trying to figure out if he was just a short guy or a short person, and freaked out when his suit jacking said “Bloomingdale’s Boy’s Department” (Season 3, “Politically Erect”)? Yep, he made her giggle.

The point is this: attractiveness can vary based on situation. There was a guy I met once who was gorgeous on first meeting, and once he started talking, every possible facial flaw was accentuated. When I was in high school, I talked to this guy who looked like a moncheechee because on the phone, his personality shone through (I did, however, get surprised everytime I saw him. Okay, that was a no go once I made it to the third time I jumped on-sight, lol).

Does it happen all the time? No. Can it happen and be okay? Yes. The blog posts continues to say

I remember on the post that shall remain nameless how somebody said that my only real asset in life was my personality. But wow…what an asset. If I looked like Kid and was a douche, well yeah, I might be short in life. But I’m fun. And do you know what women like? Fun guys. And you know what happens to women who are around fun guys? They end up interested. Even accidentally. That coupled with women just being better people in general and more willing to take a shot on happiness as opposed to superficiality (in general) and you can end up with more women than you can shake your stick at.

A friend of mine reminds our circle of guy friends on an almost weekly basis to “date for your priorities, not just your preferences”. Sounds about accurate.

What say you? Can you give someone a chance who isn’t your “physical type” as a guy, or is that just a woman thing? Hope you’re having a great week! 🙂

Love,

–V

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