“I sparked with this person. I never spark.” –Carrie Bradshaw

How many times do you find someone who you hit it off with immediately? So assuming you’re my age (29), in the past 10 years, when was the last time you’ve found someone that you meshed with immediately? What…like, 2? Two times? Yep, that’s about right. Can I tell you a secret? I have never meshed immediately with anyone I’ve ever dated. (Hmm…that could be the problem.) It was always something I worked toward. It had to grow.

The first guy I ever “sparked” with was this guy. He and I are still friends, and I still judge every relationship by our friendship. Ideally, it’s what I would want. He wasn’t perfect, but he had (and still had) character. That’s a rarity these days. We talk about once every month or two, checking in about life, cracking jokes, and seeing how the other’s relationship with God is faring (see??? See what I mean? *deep sigh*). I always make sure to ask about his family (he’s a husband and father now), and we keep up with each other. We were always good friends. Very Dawson’s Creek.
He was the only one I’ve ever sparked with immediately…until he wasn’t.

There is someone who I’ve sparked with, almost immediately. We met because of a common purpose, and have very similar personalities and intellectual thought processes. Honestly, he reminds me a lot of the dude up there. Smart, funny, with several other *unicorn-esque characteristics. I remember thinking it when I first met him… “We click.” And then I found out he had a girlfriend.

In Season 5, “Plus One is the Loneliest Number” Carrie was celebrating her impending book release. She was speaking with her editors and met a guy. A smart guy. A funny guy. A guy with whom she had a common interest (writing). And they had a non-date. Just spent time together doing random non-important things. And she went out on a limb and asked him to be her Plus One. And then she found out about his girl, their cohabitation, and her visiting parents. And she made the statement that was so reflective that I’m sure that this fictional character woman was thinking for any woman in this situation, “What’s the point of meeting someone like that if they’re unavailable!” Touché.

Charlotte responded this way, “Maybe that’s the universe’s way of telling you they’re still out there,” while Miranda (I think…or Samantha) said, “No, it’s the universe’s way of saying all the good ones are taken.” Hmm… So how do you take spark plugs? You know, those situations when you find yourself feeling someone that you can’t pursue? When I was in Germany, I met a guy on the Omega Cruise (he was a Kappa though). He worked for BMW and lived in New York. He was in Germany for work. We talked awhile, but the reality was we were in Germany. The likelihood of anything coming of it was low (though we still email from time to time). I personally have no idea. It’s one thing if you just notice the plug…but to actually see the fire pop? Then what?

What I will say is that I thank the Charlotte’s in my life who choose faith. It’s good to have you folks in my corner. I hope anyone else who has ever experienced this situation has a few Charlottes. Because, character in the dating pool is starting to become a masterpiece of minimalism. (Can you name that quote? 5 points if you can :-] ).

So what say you? How do you handle those? Try to change your own destiny? Wait for your own version? Kick kittens? I’m interested in knowing. 🙂


–V 🙂

*unicorn: a person who has many wonderful qualities that either have a low propensity of being in one person, or if they are…said person should look like a mud duck (but oddly…he or she doesn’t)

P.S. This song has been stressing me out, lol. The girl at the gas station is overlooked in this scenario.