Everyone I know has been talking about men and their potential, and how women either need to look for it, work with it, or ignore it. My friends and I have had several conversations about the woman’s kryptonite, potential. Some feel that as long as a squinting woman thinks she can see it with bifocals on, men have it made in the shade. Others believe it is up to women to cultivate that potential. Even others believe that unless a man with potential has made some visible steps towards action, leave him alone.

My view is a mixture of them all. I like potential. It can be refreshing. I do have issue with having to be the catalyst for you to start moving. What happens if I am not there? Or if we have a falling out…does all movement stop? I am a firm believer in intrinsic motivation. If you are counting on an outside party to motivate you, that thing becomes a variable which can shift. A friend of mine and I were discussing this while watching The Book of Eli (I hadn’t seen it, and most of my friends gave me the side eye when they found out. She let me borrow her copy.), and she said, “It’s like Carrie and the cigarettes.” She immediately followed this statement by saying, “I’m around you too much. I’m starting to speak in Sex and the City.” Lol…Don’t ever fight the feeling when you feel it. (It’s a good day when you can reference Day 26…or maybe not…whatever)

All jokes aside, she had a point. I said, “I’m pretty sure I’m going to write about this.” In Season 3, (No Ifs, Ands, or Butts) Carrie gave up cigarettes to date Aidan. She  hadn’t been thinking about giving them up, but it was a non-negotiable for him (at least at the time). Her friends even encouraged him being a good reason to stop, even when Carrie said (in what I thought sound judgment) “When I want to quit, I’ll quit, but it won’t be because some guy told me to.” By the end of that show, she flushes her cigarettes down the toilet (is that safe? I always thought there could’ve been a better way to do that, lol), and proudly puts on a patch. This is the 5th episode of the season, but by episode 9 she not only biblically “know” Big again, she’s smoking too! All of this when separated from her inspiration? Hmm…

This is my point. When all someone has is proximity potential – the potential that only seems to move into action when in the proximity of an inspiration – they can be a good person, but how likely is it for things to retard when out of range? While I love potential, there should be some sure kinetic signs before I invest. All I’m saying is that if you tell me your dream is to sell snowcones in Hawaii, I’m with you. I’m probably checking and comparing kart prices…but I’m not giving them to you until you mention that you found a spot to set it up.

What say you? I hope you’ve had an awesome week!…and I want my hour back daylight savings :\

Love,

–V

P.S. Praying for Japan, and the people and families around the world affected by the tsunami.

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