First things first…I’ll let you guys know that I had an awesome Valentine’s Day. Thanks for the wishes I received! I was very much so impressed…he did good 🙂

Now, this blog was inspired by my best friend who has had nuggets for the past few days that I have kept me doubled-over in laughter. We were having a conversation about my sister and the subject of romantic possibilities came up. I said, “There are obviously people interested in her, but to me they’re a bit lame.” Her response?

“Of course they’re lame! Your sister is like awesome…a complete package. People with their stuff together think out the details before they approach someone. All these dorks are going to be like, ‘wooooooo! Let me try to get on it and upgrade myself!’ Bring on the idiots!”

After I stopped crying, I got to thinking…where do the lames get their confidence? And even more so, what would happen if we attempt to change them?

Now, let me clarify. I’m considering lame to be something that is unattractive to 95% of the datable world, i.e. bad breath, braids when you are balding, illiterate and proud, sweaters tucked into white socks with black dress shoes and high waters, etc… I am not talking about idiosyncracies that might not be my style (like being a Gucci Mane fan), but would be good to a whole slew of other people.

VerySmartBrothas, a favorite blog of mine, had a post today about being interested in folks who aren’t interested in you. This reminded me of Season 1, “The Turtle and the Hare”, when Samantha was continually approached by “The Turtle” (I want to say his name was Danny Turtletop, but I could be wrong) for a date. Samantha began seeing some guy who walks away from her mid-date because he saw someone else who caught his eye. When Samantha was about to leave seeing as her ego had taken a crushing blow, The Turtle gives her the affection she needed in that moment. She decides she’ll make him a guy she wants to be with instead of pining away for the guy who rejected her. (Yeah…Samantha doesn’t pine. Whatever.)

Now see, The Turtle had a few issues: he was balding (not an issue to me, but it was mentioned quite often by the ladies on the show in reference to men), had weird conversation and habits (trying to figure out the exact ingredients of dinner dishes), and above all? His breath stank. Reeked. Badly. He had horrible pick up lines (“Do you like this shirt? My…ex-girlfriend picked it out.”), and seemed to be just generally awkward. When Samantha mentioned his herb-induced stank breath, he just made a joke after his explanation, and kept it moving. He didn’t have any pretension, and she liked that about him. So after a shopping spree and a facial…viola! A (sorta) new man.

Carrie couldn’t believe it! Why would her friend subject herself to such a man? Was it shallow of Carrie? Was it mean of Samantha not to accept him how he was? The thing is, first impressions can be deceiving. Not judging a book by its cover and whatnot. However, no matter the cover of the book, you can’t change the pages. The Turtle was still himself…awkward and slightly weird, and eventually it never worked for Samantha. I know plenty of people who will try to change a won’t to a will. It has never worked for them.

There has been a time or four where a guy (or girl for the fellas) has been interested, and you couldn’t fathom it. How do you handle this? Do you give it a go? Do you stand firmly on your no? (Hey, I rhymed. Double points.) Do you use it as an experiment? For me, I’ll befriend anyone who I genuinely like as a person (cute or not, if I don’t mesh with you, I won’t stand around to see if I do), but that doesn’t mean it’ll go romantic. But if it just becomes weird and uncomfortable, I’ll just distance myself.  What about you?

Love,

-V

P.S. The word tortoise looks like it is always spelled wrong. For some reason I want it to have a U in it, lol.

P.P.S. No shade to anyone who has bad breath, braids when you are balding, illiterate and proud, sweaters tucked into white socks with black dress shoes and high waters. You need love too. And I’d still like to know where that confidence comes from, lol

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