"Unfortunately, having a man leave me for Paris was not foreign to me..." --C.B.

It’s a weird moment in most relationships where you see glimpses of the past. Scrooge de la Bradshaw if you will. This happened to Carrie in “Splat!” (Season 6). Carrie was not even aware that her then love, Aleksandr Petrovsky had a show in Paris upcoming, so when he made mention that he would be leaving, she instantly went to the past. I imagine that she braced herself not for what Alek himself would do, but what she remembered from Big. Not the emotions that Alek caused, but the emotions leftover from Big’s “abandonment” (which is debatable, depending on who you’re talking to). I imagine that she processed and prepared not based on who Alek was, but who she knew Big to be. Paris was a sore spot – one that stung – and she was ready for the doom to follow.

It was to Carrie’s surprise that Alek wanted her to come with him. She responded, “Oh………….OH!” Pure surprise. Completely different waters. How often has this happened to us though? Have you been in a situation where someone new seems to walk like a duck, and quack like a duck, and turned out it was a bunny? (I know this seems illogical, but just go with me here, lol). This happened this past weekend for me.

I was with my friend, and the conversation went in such a way that I felt like he was rushing me out because his friend was about to arrive, so that they could go out. Immediately, I went to my past. My mind began clicking and the wheels began turning. You know, “Why do I have to leave if you’re just hanging out with your boys!? You must think I’m Boo-Boo the fool! 👿 ” …but all in your head. Then with your best apathetic gesture, you leave, not caring if you ever see or hear from said person again. To me, that action was moving to Paris. I prepared for what the former did, not the present.

Because I am so introspective, (and also because shopping helps me to think, which I did immediately after leaving), I recognized what angered me. Yeah, I still didn’t appreciate being hustled out, perceived or otherwise, but it wasn’t the end of the world. It was my “Oh………….OH!” moment. I apologized for my attitude in that moment, and we were able to communicate…and all thanks to shopping (lol).

So here is my new personal rule: 💡 when I get mad at a guy friend, I need to make sure I’m mad at him, and not at my ex. #notetoself

Have you ever had a “Paris” deja vu? Did you handle it well? I’d like to know. 🙂

Love,

–V

P.S. Congrats to the Packers! I was going for the Steelers, only because I didn’t have a dog in the fight, and because I like Troy Polamalu’s hair, lol.

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