We’ve all been there (probably).

Been out with someone, and within fifteen minutes were thinking, “I could be doing something more important with my life right now, like counting ceiling tiles.” Guys generally end the evening. We girls, however, don’t do it that easily.

We have a plan.

This plan usually involves another friend, a phone call, a specific time frame (i.e. 15 minutes, or 9:42pm), a story that includes a flat tire or a possibly abusive boyfriend/end of a relationship, and an immediate emergency that only the person on the date can handle.

And we’re proud of it.

I was talking to a good friend of mine over the weekend as she was driving home from her hair appointment, and she was telling me about this guy she was spending time with who all of a sudden started irritating her. She said, “Girl! I texted my friend and said to call me with an emergency in fifteen minutes. It was bad because she was saying crazy stuff and I was trying not to laugh and blow my cover!”

This reminded me of Season 5 (Hop, Skip, and a Week) when Carrie and Berger went out to eat, and were sitting down less than 10 seconds when Charlotte burst out of nowhere. She was freaking out because she was on a horrible blind date and had to get out of there. She asked Carrie to call and say something bad happened so she could ditch dude. Of course, it worked. Berger, on the other hand, couldn’t figure out why she wouldn’t just end the date.

Why is that? If a guy isn’t feeling a girl he’s out with, I doubt he is texting his homeboy to bail him out. (But if you are, please let me know. I’ll happily edit this.) He’ll just talk to him later, starting the conversation with “You won’t believe this chick I went out with! She *insert random stalkerish-crazy-idiotic-ignorant behavior*! I won’t be talking to her anymore…unless she is gonna give me some.”

I have some stories. A friend of mine once asked me to call her, and the story I told her was pretty good. She started crying (for effect) and eventually cried for real (it took her a while to stop). saying that the story made her think of a past relationship. I told her, “Dude. It didn’t really happen.” The guy called her all night (literally…every. 25. minutes.) trying to make sure she was okay. I’m pretty sure it had the opposite effect than what she was going for.

I even remember preventative escape plan stories. One of my favorite “bonding” moments with my linesister Alisha was in college, and it was a bunch of us in my dormroom. She said she was at a party, and some random guy she was talking to earlier called her to see where she was. I guess she wasn’t feeling him, and she said, “See, I was slick. I told him I was outside on the left side…but I was outside on the right side.” We all cracked up (Maybe you had to be there…or know how Alisha talks for this to be funny, but trust me, it was hilarious at 3 in the morning… #memories).

Do you have any exit strategy stories? I’d like to hear them!

Love,

-V

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